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a story today I read I story about a girl who surfed alot.. I really feel sad for her, she had a lot of troubles.. her family make her out home.. she suffered alone In street without money or work or home.. she find herself with a baby from a man who just go away after doing this without mercy. . she suffered before find a good work and a home for her and her daughter. . she met a good man and marry him.. after she discovers that her father died and her mother has cancer. . she blame herself her brothers blame her too.. her husband supported her.. also her mother. . she finally succeeded to talk with her brothers thanks to her husband who helped her.. it was a true story for a really nice girl the story has alot of detail alot of suffering and of course a lot of pain.

Correcties · 2

1

A story

Today I read a story about a girl who surfed a lot. I really feel sad for her, she had a lot of problems. her family kicked her out her home. She suffered alone in the street without money or work or a home. She found herself pregnant with a baby from a man who just went away after doing that without mercy. 

She suffered before she could find a good job and a home for her and her daughter.  Then she finally met a good man and married him. After she discovered that her father died and her mother had cancer, she blamed herself; her brothers blamed her too. Her husband supported her, also her mother. 


She finally succeeded to talk with her brothers thanks to her husband who helped her. 
It was a true story for a really nice girl. 
The story has a lot of detail a lot of suffering and of course a lot of pain.

 

*** Pretty good (: You should work a little more on the verbs and it's past tense, also, maybe try to be more careful with punctuation. ***

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