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Practice. I write down some essay. Thank you for reading my essay. 1. I met Minsu in the soccer club in same university. We were not good at soccer than other members. So, we practiced in every night for a hour, such as lifting and kick. During practice, I knew about my friends and we affect each other as a mentor. Therefore, we could get the entry in our team. After graduation, we went to the different way, but I call him frequently. 2. I first visited my university with my family. The first day was afraid because it was first time to separate with my family. We saw the ceremony that was consist of dancing, singing and cheering. It gave me the curious for my university life. So, I could hold my heart and start the new semester.

Poprawki · 4

1
Hello Dongje!

Thanks for reminding me of my first day at a university which was located in a different city than my home town!
Your essays look great especially the second one.

I have made a few corrections to your write-up (Please find the corrections at at the end of this message).

For the first assay, I have marked a line in Italics which I was not able to clearly interpret. So, I have not corrected that. In this sentence do you mean to say- During the practice, I not only got to know more about my friends but we acted as a mentor for each other too?

Hope this helps!

Kind Regards,
Swarnim


A few corrections:

I have written down a couple of essays. Thank you for reading my essays.

  1. I met Minsu in the soccer club at the university where I study. We were not as good at soccer as the other members were. So, we practised lifting and kicking for an hour every night. During the practice, I knew about my friends and we affect each other as a mentor. Therefore, we were able get the entry in to our team. After graduation, we choose different paths (for career?), but I keep calling my friend frequently.


  1. I first visited my university with my family. The first day I was afraid because it was the first time for me to be living away from my family. We saw a ceremony that included dancing, singing and cheering. This aroused curiosity within me for my university life. So, I held my heart (may be it is better to use 'Then I felt better?') and started the new semester.
1

1.
I met Minsu in at the soccer club at the university I study. We were not as good at soccer than as other members (players). So, we practised in every night for an hour, such as we did lifting and kicking. During practice, I knew about go to know my friends better and we affect helped each other as mentors (better say: ... we helped each other to become better soccer players). Therefore, we could managed to get the entry in into our soccer team. After graduation, we went to the different way in different directions, but I call him frequently.

2.
I first visited my university with my family. The first day I was afraid because it was the first time when I separated with from my family. We saw watched the ceremony that was consist of included dancing, singing and cheering. It gave me the curious for about my university life. So, I could hold my heart overcame my fear and start the new semester.

Let me know, if you have any questions.

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