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Ameneh
Never trust any advertisement! Hello, I wanted to paste the text here but apparently it is longer than this box's restrictions. Therefore, I will put it in the correction box. The good point is that I can justify the text in there. Your corrections and comments are most welcome by the way. Thanks, Amene
23 maj 2013 10:16
Poprawki · 6
3

Here is the text:

 

I was a bit tired at the end of the day and was checking my emails and responding to them if necessary. I saw an email enumerating twenty eight cases women must know before they become thirty years old. It was counting various topics like: How to fix a flat tire; would you like to have a child or not; how to get ready for a party in less than thirty minutes; how do you see your future when you became forty? how to ask for a raise in your stipend. And some other questions followed with a short descriptive paragraph.


Well, I was already tired and reading that message made me more frustrated at the moment. I simply had answers for a few of them. If I want to give a score to myself- it was not asked in there but we human beings mostly realize quantity better than the quality- it would be just ten out of one hundred. I closed my email and went to follow my other work. But until recently I was thinking about its questions and why am I not ready for most of them till now. Perhaps because I never cared about most of them. Not only did I not know the answers, I never wanted to find the solutions for them. What will I do if I have a flat tire? I will probably sit on the road and start crying. Definitely, somebody would be there to help me. I need not to dry in a desert now. How will I look in the ten following years? God knows. I cannot have any prediction even for tomorrow. I do have many plans for future but nothing is certain, is it? Nevertheless, I would like to find answers for some other questions or find new skills. I would like to learn ski and play golf. Playing an instrument is in my far future program if I lived long! These are what I concluded until this morning.


Today, I was up early in the morning and went to tidy my email’s inbox. I came across that message again and re-read it. I had quite another understanding of the text. No, I did not either find or try to answer those questions. Instead, I saw some advertisements at the end of the message. It was advising you to buy a package of teaching driving skills.


Now, I see how deliberately those questions were set in there. You could not answer to some of them and you would say to yourself: I should buy the package. It is the very thing I need now! I do not regret thinking about those questions. However, I do not know how not I noticed those ads. I have never had faith in advertisements. They adroitly coax you to do what they want to do without you realizing their real intent. They can persuade you to visit their clinic because you have a dangerous illness and you should not miss the time. Don’t they?

23 maja 2013
2

I was a bit tired at the end of the day and was checking my emails and responding to them if necessary. I saw an email enumerating twenty eight cases women must know before they become thirty years old. It was counting various topics like: How to fix a flat tire. Would you like to have a child or not? How to get ready for a party in less than thirty minutes. How do you see your future when you became forty? How to ask for a raise in your stipend. Other questions followed with a short descriptive paragraph.

Well, I was already tired and reading that message made me more frustrated at the moment. I only had answers for a few of them. If I want to give a score to myself- it was not asked in there but we human beings mostly realize quantity better than the quality- it would be just ten out of one hundred. I closed my email and went back to my other work. But until recently I was thinking about its questions and why am I not ready for most of them till now. Perhaps because I never cared about most of them. Not only did I not know the answers, I never wanted to find the solutions for them. What will I do if I have a flat tire? I will probably sit on the road and start crying. Definitely, somebody would be there to help me. I need not to dry in a desert now [? I don't understand this sentence, sorry]. How will I look in the ten following years? God knows. I cannot have any prediction even for tomorrow. I do have many plans for the future, but nothing is certain, is it? Nevertheless, I would like to find answers for some other questions or find new skills. I would like to learn to ski and play golf. Playing an instrument is in my distant future program if I live long enough! This is what I concluded until this morning.

Today, I was up early in the morning and went to tidy my email’s inbox. I came across that message again and re-read it. I had quite another understanding of the text. No, I did not either find or try to answer those questions. Instead, I saw some advertisements at the end of the message. It was advising you to buy a package of teaching driving skills.

Now, I see how deliberately those questions were set in there. You could not answer to some of them and you would say to yourself: I should buy the package. It is the very thing I need now! I do not regret thinking about those questions. However, I do not know how not I had not noticed those ads. I have never had faith in advertisements. They adroitly coax you to do what they want you to do without you realizing their real intent. They can persuade you to visit their clinic because you have a dangerous illness and you should not miss the time. Don’t they?

 

-A stipend is different from a salary. Stipends are grants that aren't necessarily payments for work. In any case, it is a little redundant to say you 'asked for a raise in your salary'. It is implicitly understood when you say 'asked for a raise'.

-'Future' becomes a noun when you say 'my distant future'. In this case appending 'program' is an awkward addition.

-I was very impressed that you know 'adroitly', and used it correctly :). Well done.

23 maja 2013
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