IELTS TASK 2 WRITING

Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

As the (you are not talking about a specific '具体的‘ technology, so you don't need the determiner 'the') technology develops, human-beings now have stepped into a new era-- the (here, you are talking about about a specific era, so you need 'the') information era. Being As a symbol of information era, the internet is playing a tremendous role in human society. Some people claim that the internet has more disadvantages than advantages, while others hold an opposite opinion. From my perspective, the internet is a double-edge sword with both advantages and disadvantages; however, if people use internet wisely and keep aware of the harmful factors, the disadvantages of the internet can be reduced to minimum.

This is a very good thesis. It opens up the possibilty of exploring benefits, while at the same time clearly makes an argumentative position.  

Without a doubt, being as one of the greatest inventions of since the beginning of history, the internet brings a lot of benefits to human-beings. Through using the internet, people can connect with society whenever and wherever they want. People will be able to know what is happening all around the world by looking at news on the webpages. In addition, the internet is a more convenient way of searching for information than going to library. Also, internet provide a platform where people can have access a lot of entertainment such as online games and social media. the Internet surely enables human-beings to live in a better way.

Since the above is part of your primary position, you may want to change the order so that you first talk about some disadvantages, and then counter with some advantages which outweigh the disadvantages:

Para 1: intro/thesis

Para 2: disadvantages

Para 3/4: However/On the other hand, etc... -advantages (give MORE or BETTER examples)

Para 5: conclusion (why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages)

Beside the advantages, the internet also has some disadvantages. Since the internet provides a platform where everyone in the world can link with others, many unsecured factors are created as a result. For instance, criminals may heck hack other's people's computer and obtain their credit card information through the internet. What is more, there are a lot of temptations on the internet that may lead to addiction such as online games.

Although internet has some harm can be dangerous, users can minimized them potential risks through following advises. Firstly, be aware of unsecured factors always. Do not provide real personal information on a website that you are not sure if it is safe or not. Secondly, improve one's self discipline in order to reduce the possibilities of addiction.

This paragraph works well as a bridge between 'disadvantages' and 'advantages'; so, I would place it is the 3rd paragraph. If you do so, then the essay will build towards your main arguement that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. 

In brief, although the internet benefits people a lot by providing a link with society and the world, the internet still has some be harmful, including unsecured factors and tempting content. In order to minimize the harm, people should always be aware of potential dangers and improve their be self-disciplined.

Good work. Your misuse and underuse of the determiners <em>'the'</em> stood out in this paper, but that is a relatively minor grammatical problem. Keep in mind that whenever the word "internet" is a noun, it requires <em>'the'. </em>As an adjective, you will often see the determiner <em>'a/an'</em> used:

The internet is a useful resourse for scholars.

She started a business on the internet.

He works for an internet service provider.

She wrote on an internet webpage.