Finding the friend worthing to be trusted forever

I don't know if I have the friend who can be trusted forever.in my dream,I imagine that I have a friend who can give me a hand when I trapped into difficulties.what's more he can make sacrifices for me even what he do for me does harm to his benefits.he always can read me even I hide myself so secretly.but in reality,I am lack of the friend,while I am so eager to get it.as a result,I begin to cheat myself on the internet.i chat with many strangers and always dream that this is the guy who I wait all the time.it seeme like a funny people want a round of applause,but it is impossible.am I ?maybe