Mai
i'm practising my English writing skils: My cousin so cute ^^ I had some great days with my cousin, Her parents had a business trip and this time for our do anything we want: Playing game, Hanging out for eating junk food ..etc.. Of course that is all things which her parents rarely permit she do it.We were free!. She painted a person’s face by some trees and a few of fish as well, She also like painting so that’s many abstract paintings are hang up in her room, besides she’s quiet a mathematician and she speaks English very fluently although she has not learned to present perfect yet!. She just is in grade sixth, I’m so proud of her. I remember when we had an English article and she chooses topic “Gossip Girl” to read, This topic make her curious about teenagers ^.^, We translate some vocabulary words and I never forget her emotion when she read to sentences : “Serena had sex with Blair’s boyfriend..” Suddenly she yelled loudly “ OMG I’m still young!! I’m still young !! I won’t read this article anymore!” Haha I couldn’t stop laughing because my cousin so cute ^__< . But you know she really concerned about Zodiac so let tell her your birth she’ll tell you that what Zodiac do you belong to? Now I am missing her a lot!.
7 sty 2016 17:58
Poprawki · 4
1

I'm practising my English writing skills: My cousin is so cute ^^

I had some great days with my cousin. Her parents had a business trip and this gave us time for our to do anything we want: Playing games, Hanging out for and eating junk food ..etc.. Of course that is those are all things which her parents rarely permit she do it her to do.We were free!.
She painted a person’s face by with some trees and a few of fish as well,. She also likes painting so that’s many abstract paintings are hanging up in her room, besides she’s quiet a mathematician and she speaks English very fluently although she has not learned to present perfectly yet!. She just is in sixth grade grade sixth,. I’m so proud of her.
I remember when we had an English article and she chooses chose the topic “Gossip Girl” to read, This topic make made her curious about teenagers ^.^, We translated some vocabulary words and I will never forget her emotion when she read to the sentences : “Serena had sex with Blair’s boyfriend..” Suddenly she yelled loudly “ OMG I’m still young!! I’m still young !! I won’t read this article anymore!” Haha I couldn’t stop laughing because my cousin is so cute ^__< .
But you know she is really concerned about Zodiac so let tell her your birth she’ll tell you that what Zodiac sign do you belong to?
Now I am missing her a lot!.


Very good, Mai. When you use exclamation mark (!) then you do not need a full stop (.)

9 stycznia 2016
yep! i think i will notice the past tense thank you very much ^^
8 stycznia 2016
I had a great couple of days with my cousin, Her parents had a business trip and we got to do whatever we wanted like playing games, hanging out, eating junk food, etc. Of course her parents rarely let her do these things, but we where free to do them! She painted a person's face by some trees and a few fish as well, She also likes Painting and she has many abstract painting hung up in her room. She is quiet a mathematician and she speaks English very well, but not fluently yet! She is only in sixth grade, I'm so proud of her. I remember when we got to read a English article she choose Gossip Girl. This made her curious about teenagers ^_^. We tranlated some vocabulary words, and I never forgot how she felt when she read the sentence " Serena had sex with Blair's Boyfriend.."She suddenly Yelled loudly "OMG I'm Still Young!! I'M still young!! I won't read this article anymore!". I couldn't stop laughing because my cousin is so cute ^_-. but you know she is really interested in zodiacs. Tell her your birth date and she well tell you what zodiac you belong to. Now I am missing her a lot!. well i'm no teacher but that is how I would say it. I can see that maybe you run the sentences a little to long. You also had a few spots where you should have uded past tense like "We translate some vocabulary" should be "we translated some vocabulary". but it was pretty good. keep it up ^_^
7 stycznia 2016
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