Meaning of life
In my pint of view, life is not entirely a time of existence; it’s a state of mind. It’s not a matter of how long you live, how much you own, or how high your position is, it’s a temper of the will of the human and the quality f the imagination. Needless to say, it’s the depth of the life rather than the length of life that counts! What’s more, there isn’t a fixed standard to value whether one’s life is pregnant or not. Every in the world can lead a meaningful life for it differs in persons. The meaning of life doesn’t lie in your wondering knowing nothing to do or achieving tremendous successes. But , there is a basic common point, that is, it’s what you contribute to the world rather than what you get from society that counts your meaning of life. The ture meaning of life won’t disappear along with the death of a person. And as a inspiring spirit it is, it does good to affect and improve the people’s valuations and thoughts. Further more, the meaning of life does nothing to whether you are alive but how you live. It means the temperamental predominance of courage over timidity, of the appetite of adventure over the love of ease. It’s meaningless by deserting dreams and alive by pursing ideas. Years may winkle the skin, but cannot winkle the meaning of life.
On the other hand, human are social beings, the love to all is the most important thing for a man, for the meaning of life. So, what shall we love? Surely we are supposed to love ourselves, our families, our people, our country and even the whole world.
As a conclusion, I believe, contributions, dreams and love, these three simple but significant items, will make one’s life meaningful!
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Oops.. Disregard the previous correction. Hit the wrong key and ITALKI does not allow deletions! Here goes again..
Because this is going to be a speech. The writing style is very different because you are speaking to an audience. The style must be direct and to connect to your audience. The speech should be concise and to the point; adding interesting anectedoes - when warranted so keep your audience interested. Included is the original corrected text I made for writing so that you can compare the differences easily. This is how I would write, organize and put forth my arguments to support my opinions.
Meaning Of Life
Life is not merely a period of time in our existence but a state of our minds! It matters not how long you live; how much you own, or how great your position is. Life is but the tempo of humanity . Quality of life is measured by its depth not it's length! Everyone lives differently because everyone is different. No standard test can exist to determine if one life is better than the next.
However I do believe the in trying to achieve such a test, the most important measure is not to see how one has attained success for himself but to see how much contribution one has given and how greatly it has an impact it has in the lives of others. True meaning of life disappears not with one's death but as an aspiration for others.
When dreams are desserted life becomes meaningless. Years pass and dreams may die but aspirations will remain. We are social beings. Love is important to us. Love is also life. Who do we love? Obviously it would us, our family and perhaps those entering our lives.
Dreams are the soil in which love can grow. Our contributions are the fruits of our love. Dreams, love and contributions are the three simple things that make our journey together a pleasure as we sail in this boat called life.
1. What you are saying to the audience is you opinion. So this is redundant, unlike when you are writing.
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Because this is going to be a speech. The writing style is totally different because you are going to speak to an audience. Included is the original corrected text I made and you can compare the differences easily.
Meaning Of Life
Life is meaningless when dreams are desserted. Years may pass and dreams may die but aspirations will remain. Humans are social beings. Love is important to us. Love is another aspect of a meaningful life. Who do we love? Surely it would be ourselves, our family and perhaps those entering our lives as we sail on this boat we call life.
I believe that with dreams, love will come and contributions soon to follow are but three simple things that makes life meaningful.
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Meaning Of Life
In myLife is meaningless when dreams are desserted. Years may pass and dreams may die but aspirations will remain. Humans are social beings. Love is important to us. Love is another aspect of a meaningful life. Who do we love? Surely it would be ourselves, our family and perhaps those entering our lives as we sail on this boat we call life.
As a conclusion, I believe, contributions, dreams and love, these three simple but significant items, will make one’s life meaningful!
I believe that with dreams, love will come and contributions soon to follow are but three simple things that makes life meaningful.11
1. You are writing in a formal style, so don't use contractions or slang unless it is used for effect and emphasis.
2. You are repeating to reinforce your belief. Using "It" is weak.
3. I really don't know what you really mean here. So I'm guessing. Write in Chinese so that those correcting your writing and knows Chinese will be able to do a better job of correction.
4. I prefer you leave this out because it makes no sense in English. Perhaps you could have Chinese written along side so that those correcting your piece who also know Chinese can understand you better in what you are trying to say.
5. This is a more concise and clearer way to express. Excellent choice of metatphor!
6. Pregnant is a poor choice of metaphor. Using too many metaphors in a writing is not good at all. At least not so fast since you had used one not so long ago.
7. Are you omplying that there are people living in other planets somewhere in the galaxy. Maybe in the future but not now.
8. You are getting too pendantic and repetitive. All these can be inferred from the previous simple sentence.
9. I know what you are trying to say but poor choice of words and metaphors. Interesting but not effective in the context of what you are writing. May be more effective when describing a particular life of someone. In any case, "years wrinkling the skin" is a better way of expressing than "years may wrinkle the skin" because wrinkles are cause by old age.
10. You are opening a can of worms here going off to a tangent. Better stick to your main theme.
11. I believe dreams come first before there can be love. When you have love and happiness then you will be more inclined to contribute to the happiness of others. Of course this is your essay and you can change back to the original way. However whether true or not writing this is way is more poetic, more stylish than just saying, "contributions, dream and love are ..."
Good topic and thoughts. You have a flair of ideas but too long winded. You need to express yourself more concisely. This will come later as your command of the English language improves. At least you have the seeds of being a good writer sown. Remember just as you say about the quality of life is measured by its depth not by its length. So an essay should be measured by the quality of its meaning rather than grand words filling the page.
You must capitalize every word in the title.
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