你好! 我来自新加坡 :)  帮你修改一下的内容好了---

红代表写错的部分，蓝代表修正后的内容，绿则是我意见的表达方式

First notebook entry: Introducing myself

Hello,my friends.
Hello, my friends. <--- 逗号和句号后需要一个空位

I`m come from china.It has a long history.Do you konw ZHONGSHAN?
I come from china. It has a long history. Do you know ZHONGSHAN?
I'm from China. <--- 比较自然 

There is a famous man who called XUNZHONGZHONG.YEAH,I`M living there.
There is a famous man called XUNZONGSHAN. Yeah, I'm living there. 

I`d like to talk with friends who are friendly .I want to talk in English.
I'd like to talk to friends who are friendly. I want to talk in English.
I'd like to meet friendly people. I wish to speak in English. <--- 比较自然 

在网络上，英语用者不常用顿号 （`），我建议你用（‘）。例如：
I'm from China 而不是 I`m from China.