To lose flesh or not to loose? Looking for my lovely dress everyday, I tell mysels - just water and apples, dear, just water and apples. There are only thirthy days before the New Year celebration! I must get into good form. An awful meat bag disturbs me. I can t be wonderful in my beautiful dress! But my boyfrend says - "I d love it.It is a sexy little belly. You are of exellent weight". But for me it is a catastropha! All my life I feel myself rather overweight. Even in school boys call me "Plumpy", "Sniker", "Fat one" or even a "Miss Pig". In 9th grade I lost some extra killos and they cooked up for me a new name "princess Sisy", cause my ballrooms became a little more over number three. I felt myself like an Allien in a laundry among the skirt desks. I can t wear narrow sweaters, can t jump on my tranning lessons, what even say about eating sausages in school canteen. It became normal when I met my first boyfriend. When we broke up, I started eat only "Sneakers" . A year later I was about 80 killos. I never stayed on ...because once the doctors messed me wieght and height. And I became a legendary "Fat Monster" in school. Nobody likes me in the university, cause I was too big. "I d rathersit on diet, than date with you" - boys often giged at my problem. It was a long lonlyness until I lost weight again. Than my life changed cardinallly. Boy after boy, date after date - even my Mom started to worry - why I am so sliding girl? Now I calmed down. But every piece of extra fat makes me worry - what if Fat Monster would come back?

my little town Some little towns seems so much pretty and peacefull. But not mine. It is a silent town. Like a deep grave. And it proves - the spirit of despair really exists. It hides everywhere - around every corner down the street. Seems like happines never born here - we are the slaves. Slaves of theese gray walls and empty windows. We have to built our lives like "it should be". Born, raise, go to school, fall in love, married, have children, work,work,work retire and die. All the other points of view my little town considers as heresy. And all the dissidents should be immideately put on the right way. So this way died many talanted ones. I feel I am dying too. It s like a monastery where I am digging my own grave. Day after day.

Taboo Break taboo or not? That is the question. The very existance of taboo undermined it to be broken. Make taboo or not - the other question. It means thatonly one group of society can do what the other are not allowed. Only several people allowed to break it - they are in the very top of society structure. But what if the new taboo can destroy the inner freedom? In our country governement tries to get rid of smoking nation and issued several anti-tabaco laws. Now there is an idea to make homosexual relationships illegal. I think it is a moral issue of civil society: person conciously decide to do or not to do, to be or not to be. Also he understands all the aftermath: spent a lot of money on cigarettes, not to smoke in public places and not to cry about your partner in the all streets. But what governement undermined if make a punisment for such affair? Destroy the lifes of peolple who made their choices in free atmosphere? And what this governement do instead all prohibitions for all people to make a right choice?

Language. Thougts I think language it is a game we play. But your native language - it is a game, which rules you already knows before you say the first word. We are all in process of socialization - hear, watch, act - your intuition helps to understand how the world organized. Logic - that is several acts one after another you do to get what you want. Language is also the logic: every sound we make it is a simple act.