Relationship is a very complex thing. Sometimes you meet people that like you, but you are not satisfied. Sometimes you meet people that you like, but others may not be satisfied. It is an art to develop and maintain a relationship. It requires a lot of courage to choose a person to start a relationship. Now when I reflect on my last relationship, I feel very fortunate. As an introverted and shy person, I was lucky to meet someone who liked me very much at first sight and was determined to devote efforts to building our relationship. Even though it did not turn out into a marriage, I learned a lot about myself, my weakness, my pain, and my struggle, which is usually protected and unseen in usual times. When it comes to picking a spouse, my friends and family members give a lot of different suggestions. My family says to find a good man who can shoulder responsibility and take care of you. One close friend says marriage is a rational choice; find someone with whom you can maintain a long-term relationship. The other close friend thinks you should have something emotional at the start, i.e., physical attraction. Another elder friend says to find someone whom you can admire one of his traits, and meanwhile, you are aware and satisfied with his weakest point. Alas! Complex guidance! My solution? Follow my heart and be brave and see how it goes.

I travelled to Luoyang, in Henan province, China, in the past week. Luoyang was the capital of China for 13 dynasties in the past. Now it boasts its numerous historic sites. On the first rainy day, I went to White Horse Temple. Built in 68 AD in Eastern Han Dynasty, it is the first Buddhist Temple established since the introduction of Buddhism in China. It has its name because it is said that the two Buddhist monks from India rode on white horses and were housed in the temple. The Temple spread Buddhism further to eastern Asia and Europe. And it is the only international temple in the world that houses Chinese, Indian, Myanmar and Thai Buddhist temples invested by different national governments. Religious beliefs provide a framework for how we view the world, our relationship with our family and friends and how we view ourselves and our mission in the world. How do you view your mission in the world? Mine, I guess, is to experience, be kind; take good care of myself; take care of others wherever possible. I need some more time to think about other big questions. Thanks for any corrections!

People pursue reputation or money or both. I think I do too. I will be sometimes worried to tell people about my progress in work. But I still have difficulty in rejecting people's questions or going about it. So my solution is to avoid meeting people. Procrastication is a big obstacle for me. When I share my experience of procrastinating on my projects, I feel really uncomfortable. Next time, I should say, please do not ask about it! I should try and see how others react to it. It would be interesting because I rarely reject people. Disappointment arives when you can not become the kind of person you wish to be. I feel inferior because everytime I am asked about my progress, it consitantly reminds myself of my incompetence. I wish I could be really efficient in my work, but currently I am not. I fail to plan things when I have too many projects at the same time. Time is limited, I need to learn what is the priority. I need to reply to people's questions and my own struggle and inconfidence by taking actions! Hope next time I can say, I complete it. Every negative experience is a reminder. Thanks for any corrections!

I haven't been on italki for a long time. Today when I logged in, the surface becomes much fancier and I could not find my post history at all. Since I graduated, I found that I studied at a much lower pace. I have high expectation of myself but this prevents me from completing anything. When I was a student, I could update my result within a week. But now for the whole day, I will check my stupid phone several times only to find that nothing interesting happens there! I hope I could go back to my "study mode". Learn to reject other requests and focus on what I should do. I can not fullfill everyone's expectations and I need to take care of myself first. Next time when a new request comes, do not say yes, but rather evaluate my time! Regarding my goals, I need to understand that Rome wasn't built in one day. Assign one task each day! Cheers!

Time I find it difficult to concentrate these days. I spend 3-7 hours on my phone. I did not count how many times I unlock my phones but I know the number is ridiculous. When I feel bored and tired, I turn to my phone to either read novels indulging myself in fantasy, or browse social media joining the gossip group. That's very bad. Then I feel guilty that I have not worked enough and more pressure will come on me, making more even more reluctant to work. A vicious circle. I will try to do several things to counter this trend. 1. Slice my tasks to make them look easy so my brain would not feel so much pressure. 2. Set fixed times each day for exercising. I found it helpful to make me feel calm and happy. 3. Pause and ask myself what I would get whenever I want to check social media: actually nothing. Most of the news is manipulated by interested groups aimed to win your attention. It only produces shallow happiness that does not last, if it produces any. 4. Set "do not disturb" times each day. Form a habit of not using my phone. 5. Go out each week and meet my friends instead of locking myself at home slovenly. 6. Writing helps too...I enjoy observing the changes in my mind and recording them. Let's see how it goes. Thanks for any corrections or suggestions.

Title: Rome (Part Two) Mark Antony, the most prominent and reliable leader under Caeser, appeared to love Atia of the Julii so much before he finally embraced Cleopatra, the young and beautiful Egyptian queen. Atia was sent to Egypt by her stone-hearted but intelligent son to plead for grains from Antony, her erstwhile lover. She was saddened when Antony, together with his queen, refused to even meet her after the long voyage. Finally, Rome had the excuse to wage war on Egypt when the public knew Antony worshiped Egyptian gods and wrote in his will that Rome would be given to his Egyptian son. Antony was defeated by Octavian. He suicided and died as a Roman soldier. His body was taken to Rome for the parade celebrating Octavian’s rule. Atia was desperate after Antony’s death, but she regained vitality when she was to become the mother of Roman’s ruler. Power is the best aphrodisiac. Verenus was deeply wounded in Egypt for protecting Pullo’s son with Cleopatra, a product during an intended and passionate night given by the queen because she wanted to ensure an official heir with Caesar. Verenus died in Rome and finally regained love from his children who hated him for causing their mother’s death and their own misfortunes. Pullo lied to Octavian that he killed Caesarian, who is his real son. He walked back home with the little boy in the hustle and bustle of Roman street. Thanks for any corrections! T

Title: Rome (Part One). I watched a fantastic historical series Rome by HBO this week. The key events in the series are based on real historical facts about Rome. The series started from the civil war between Caesar and Pompey, the erstwhile brothers and co-rulers of Rome who had turned into enemies. Caesar’s troops marched towards Rome with an unthinkable speed and unbeatable force. Pompey wasn’t able to galvanize his army and he fled Rome, hoping to conserve some energy. But he failed in the end when he fled to Egypt. He was headed by a Roman soldier serving Egypt and handed to Caesar. Lucius Vorenus and Titus Pullo are the two main protagonists in this series. They show very vivid and moving characters. They are not the noble class. Both are born to be a soldier: they can pit themselves against dozens of soldiers alone in the battlefield. But they are also distinctly different. Vorenus is wise, loyal and just, a stoic type most of the time, while Pullo, courageous, but also loves to enjoy wine and women. Pullo once envied Vorenus for being promoted by Caesar. But in the end, Vorenus’ wife died partly due to a political plot. Pullo’s wife died too because the other woman wanted to occupy him by poisoning his wife. Well, life! (Continued in the other exercise due to word limit. Thanks for any corrections!)

QUAN Hongchan Anyone who sees Quan Hongchan will not associate her with an Olympic champion. She is so young and looks just like any other teenager in China. But she shot into the water like a sharp and small arrow during Tokyo 2020, straight to the spot and almost impeccable. The world was then thrilled by this 14-year-old. In the press conference after the Olympics, she was asked how she won the medal. She was not familiar with tactics of dealing with media and she replied very succinctly, “practice”. Her fellows, other young medalists, laughed, including herself. The video quickly went viral over the internet and netizens couldn’t help smiling too. Followed by several questions asking about her practice tips, she started to reveal her motivation for diving. She said that she wanted to make money for her mom’s treatment, with a quick snuffle at the end. Quan became the star on the Chinese media not only because she won the medal at such a young age - it is her first international game and she already stands at the top of the world - but also because she came from such a disadvantaged background. Her father is a farmer in a remote village in the south and her mother could not work much due to a car accident several years ago which have left pains till now. It has been heatedly discussed in China that nowadays it is hard to see outstanding students coming from humble families, due to the increasing gap in education and medical care. The public sighed over this fact but could not do anything. The government tried to clamp down the tutoring industries but as a result, moved up the prices for 1-on-1 private tutor. The education resources become more difficult to obtain but the tickets to tertiary education are still limited. Breaking the barrier between difficulties and achievements through unimaginable hard work, Quan Hongchan has given hope to the public. But there are more problems to be addressed in our academic education. Thanks for any corrections!

Title: Thoughts It had been a hectic month. I had to squeeze my time for writing. I am not a very social person but I can't stay indoors for too long either. I need to breathe the fresh air outside. I am not sure what you think of the recent Xinjiang cotton incident. BBC, a media outlet which I respected a lot, did post fake news online. They thought their audience can't read Mandarin and misinterpreted formal government text as evidence of forced labour. I guess every media posts genuine and fake news at the same time. So they can turn the not-so-alerted/blunt part of their audience into the slave of their opinions. We are now seeing a very strange world. The US, which firmly upholds freedom of speech, has censored Trump and his allies. And if speech does have a boundary, why the hate speech towards some minorities is not yet censored. It is indeed an unfair world where people need to speak up for their rights. The squeaking wheel gets the oil. I have grown dramatically since a major obstacle in my life last year. I am more careful in my life, have more courage to talk to people from a higher position than me, have a clearer understanding of me and my goals, and have a more balanced view towards different walks of life. Maybe it is a blessing in disguise. It is more like a diary than a logical essay. Thanks for any corrections!