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Hello, please correct my TOEFL writing. Thank you in advance.
Although some people may believe that compared to our grandparents were young, life is more complicated and uncomfortable now days, I personally disagree with that idea because advanced technology today made people’s life more comfortable by letting people not only access to information easily and quickly but also, travel conveniently.
To begin with, technological development made immeasurable devices and it reduced people’s burden of work by helping people find a lot of information in a short time. Due to the development of Internet, computers, and cell-phones, people can find any kind of information by browsing and it takes only 1 seconds for clicking in order to get result. However, according to my grandmother’s story, it is extremely different in the past. She told me that the sole method of learning new skills or information was by books or by person. She needed to borrow books at the library, otherwise, only way available was listening from the teachers, families, or neighbors. Therefore, getting information takes so long time and hard, which is highly inefficient. Accordingly, due to the advanced technology, it became tremendously easier for people now to access to the information than the past.
Additionally, advanced means of transportation have been allowed people to travel comfortably and fast. This is highly beneficial for people since they can save so much time when they travel or commuting and also, they can conveniently go to wherever they want. Let me bring up my grandmother’s another story as an example. When she was young, she used to walk 2hours to get to the school and 2hours to back home. No matter how the weather was, she needed to walk because there was only 2 buses per day and only rich people could afford those luxuries. On the other hand, now days there are more traveling options such as airplanes, fast- speed trains, buses, subways, cars, to name a few, and it allowed people to travel faster and easier. Consequently, traveling across the country can be accomplished more easily than ever before.
In conclusion, the more technology develops, the easier to people to live their daily lives because of convenience of developed technology. Due to these proven advantages, I personally believe that life today is more comfortable and easier than long times ago.
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please help me to correct my TOEFL writing! Thank you in advance.
The lecturer argues that the reading passage’s assumptions of fuction of Great Zimbabwe is not convincing. This argues against the reading passage’s claim that shcolars have been engages in a debate of the primary function of the site.
Frist, the lecturer comments that the Great Zimbabwe was not an defensive fortress or refuge. He says that for the use of fortress of refuge there should be a permanent source of water. However, the Great Zimbabwe does not have any source of waters and moreover, there is no other defensive structures. This argues against the reading passage’s claim that the Great Zimbabwe may have been built as a refuge for citizens during war times due to the fact that it is difficult to attack because of their tall and thick large stone walls.
Additionally, the lecturer claims that the word “zimbabwe” means “houses of stone”. Moreover, he mentions that many scholars found that there were up t0 2000 people who lived in the Great Zimbabwe. This challenges the reading passage’s point that the word “zimbabwe” means “ venerated houses” which means the houses or gravesites of important persons and so that it was a palace built for the royal familay.
Lastly, the lecturer asserts that the Great Zimbabwe is not a religious place. Additionally, he comments that many scholoars believe that a cave on the hill was used by king to carry his voice to valley. This rebuffs the reading passage’s point that the cave on a nearby hill have spiritual significance because it was the way to deliver a religious leader’s words to people by making it sound as if he were channeling the voice of a god.
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please help me with my TOEFL writing task. Thank you in advance.
There may be some people who believe that young people enjoy their life more than older people do. However, I personally disagree with the above idea for a couple of reasons. First, older people are more comfortable financially and they have more time than younger poeple. Second, they know how to enjoy their life better.
To begin with, older people are more financially independent. Due to their long career, older people have been working longer than younger employees so they have more savings and they can take longer vacations than younger people who just started working. They have enough money to spend on enjoyable things for themselves. For example, if older people want to learn something, they have enough money for tuition and materials. If they want to go travel and do something such as scubadiving, they have sufficient money for flights, hotel, foods, shopping ,gear and related fees to scubadiving. Additionally, older people are able to spend more time on what they enjoy. Money and time are two siginificant factors to enjoy life and older people in general have more of both.
Moreover, I believe that people who have more experiences in life know how to enjoy their life better than people who have less experiences in life. Experienced people not only know themselves better but also, know what makes them happy. Additionally, they even know how to enjoy hard times in their life. Let me bring up my mother’s personal story as an example. I always believe that my mom is enjoying her life 100 percent because she is happy with her life. For example, she goes to work Monday through Friday. After work, Monday, she goes to learn a traditional Korean musical instrument. Tuesday she learns English, Wednesday she gets a massage, and weekends she goes on trips with my dad. she knows exactly how she wants to spend her time enjoyably. Also, she even enjoys her work because she believes that her work gives her freedome and confidence. In essence, she has no complaints in her life and is enjoying every moment. On the other hand, younger generation does not usually enjoy their lives because they spend most of their time discovering things and complaining about life.
In conclusion, older people know well about what they want and their strong finances support them to do what they like to do. In this regard, I personally believe that older people enjoy life more than younger people.
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