骑牛揾马.....(读张小娴) 一个男人，只能成为一个女人的牛，而无法成为她心中的马，当然是他的罪过.但是这头牛没功也有劳。 骑得久了，女人累了，说不定会将将就就选了这头牛。日子久了，女人才恍然大悟：“我原本只是骑牛揾马，为甚么会嫁了这只牛？”.大部分骑牛揾马的女人，最终都只会得到一只牛。 别以为骑牛揾马很聪明，命运弄人，你遇到的马，可能是牛所认识的，马知道你属于牛，便不会追求你，你总不能告诉他，你在骑牛揾马吧？ 男人会看不起骑牛揾马的女人，因为他们的习性不是如此，他们既要牛，也要马，不辜负牛，也不辜负马，他们认为这种做法有情有义。 你心仪的马，也有可能哀怨地做着别人的牛，不做你的马。 更坏的可能，是你骑牛揾马，却从没见过马。 当年纪一天比一天大，你发觉马出现的机会愈来愈微了，若不抓住那只牛，你最后可能只能得到一只猪。 骑牛揾马得只猪，太难堪了，于是只好接收这只牛，还庆幸牛没有走失。 ------- 噢, 骑牛寻马,要不得牛,要不得猪? ......透彻哇........

Hope everything goes smoothly Hope everything goes smoothly. Yeah, sometimes hope is just hope. If not that smooth, you should also enjoy the tough,right? Life needs to go on anyhow and maybe tough experience could make days seems longer and more valuable when we recall i guess.

yeah..just sleep =_= When I feel tired, i often doubt... I would doubt about almost everything in life... then i feel much more tired and even a little negative.. What a malicious feedback! It is obviously useless mind which is similar as disk fragments. computer will work slower within them. If I dont care or clean regularly, it will be more and more slow gradually. Maybe the most important thing i need to do when tired is just SLEEP... It will offer more ATP to each cell, as cleaning up the fragments. And I believe it will be faster when i restart the computer. Zzzzzzz

Holiday will be over soon. Time to make a summary and keep going. Positive aspects: I shared more time with my parents at home, rest and excise more. I am definitely more patient to get along with parents now and have adapted to a lifestyle full of housework and do nothing important. I started to know how to calm down and be used to do something boring happily as well. Besides, I read several nice non-professional books and began to accept more different idea. I had less prejudice and care more about those around me, whatever it is. My eyes may work more effectively. I came to learn how to observe, instead of reading or drawing in a similar mode just controlled by my mind. In addition, I have used to learn English everyday. I could speak more slowly than before and try to focus on their pronunciation. Actually I thought I would never correct the problem earlier because some mistakes have been rooted in my mind. So the advance helps me be more confident in doing related work. I understood there were skills in anything done by my eyes, mouth, hand, and etc. Full attention to remember first; Sharp eyes to observe the skills hidden then; Imitate to handle at last. Thanks a lot to a kind Italki friend for English help. I accepted lots of useful life philosophy from him as well. Negative aspects: I have not started systematic learning of professional field. There is little time for me now. I need to plan the rest efficiently. I should raise a habit of reading medical English papers everyday as soon as possible, learn to select useful information and to hold a logical analysis step by step. Also, there is not too much professional knowledge left in my brain now. Time to review them and pick up what is useful and link them fluently. What was worse, it has been a couple of days for my fingers away from actual experiment practice. Hope they has not been too much blunt. Though they are still useful in cooking, lab experiment needs a pair of hand more delicate I feel. Well, I should review or learn some protocols soon as well. Apart from above, I know more negative aspects in my personality--low willpower, immature and easy to be effected. I know it's hard for one to cultivate his or her personality when grow up. So I was trapped in a confused and desperate state frequently. However, it is not smart for me to stay the same those negative or hate myself a lot. Observe myself objectively first; Find and record my mistakes and negative results; Review the note everyday until they are finally dead printed in memory.

A big clean up No more over-thinking. Clean up. I need a big clean up, or system would crash soon. It's my duty to make the system work normally and effectively. There is no need to hate it. Just clean, summarize mistakes and update. It will be more mature. Please close non-beneficial mood program AT THIS MOMENT,okay?!

要记住。。。。 懂得选择、、、、 学会放弃、、、、 耐得住寂寞、、、、 经得起诱惑、、、、

Dad was back Dad was back home last night. He was excited and happy after 22 days outside. But sometimes I could find he was very tired even if he tried to hind. I am too careless to find his change. Oh,when dad starts reading by wearing a glass ? When his skin becomes that black and back was bent? I thought dad was always a strong man, young and energetic. But he has been a little old and weary. Oh, his kids are really not good at showing thanks to him by words. Dear papa, thanks! Just hope to work soon and reduce your burden as early as possible.

Woke up very sleepy I dreamed a lot last night and woke up very sleepy. In the dream, I kept picking up luggage and prepare to say goodbye to my friends. LYR took me to a climibing competition. I felt really scared in the half of the mountain. This feeling was too impressive to be forgotten even when woke up. But things changed a little then.I was so happy to find JW,WLL,WWT,ZJY were all around. They told me they brothers would never left me behind and alone. I felt really tired when awake. For all night, I kept picking up and found out things I cherished a lot one by one in the dream.OMG.How to get out of this missing of past and you all? As a monkey, please be up up and look further, okey?

Why are you not a monkey? Please tell me why you are not a monkey. You would be active among trees. You would be much healthier, stronger, and maybe more bravery to fight. You would get away of your mood quickly. Your brain would be so simple or smart to pour your mind into wind around. You would feel a sense of existence JUST at the moment you jump, instead of thinking, You would be happier I bet.