Have you ever faked a stomach cramp to ot go to school? Today I told my mother how many times I faked a stomach cramp to not go to school. It was so funny. She could even be mad at me. That is one of the most advantages of being an adult and you have a mon like mine. When you are just a kid and you have to get up early, suddenly your body undergoes a facinating series of changes just right after you wake up, specially when the the weather is very, very cold and you have a book report due on that day. Funny, is it?!

First impressions about my nose surgery It's been seven days since I underwent a nose surgery, most exactly a septum deviation surgery. Despite the fact that has blood going outside of my nose all the time, I wouldn't never going back on my decision. So, if you get sinus infections frequently and your doctor have said that the best solution is a surgery procedure, then go ahead and do that. Might as well get your nose blooding for a couple of days than get infections during your entire life keeping your septum as is.

What do you feel when you notice that you have learned a language? What do you feel when you notice that you have learned a language? I know it sounds crazy, but when I came across a sentence that I have heard or read before, I think "Oh, great! I got it!" I haven't to decode, even translate, I've just listening and I just grasped the meaning, not the "verbal meaning", but the sensation, the connection with something that I already know in my native language, but in other words. It's hard to explain...

A simple method to practice writing when I have no idea what to write about. Everyone agrees that we need to keep a routine, practice on a daily basis even if you listen only for a few minutes or write a simple sentence. So, what we can do when we have no idea what write about? For the past few weeks, I've been using this method to practice writing in English. It has been working so well that I'd like to share with my friends here on iTalki. 1) Pick up a talk on ted.com about a topic that you are interested in. In the beginning I suggest you choose a talk of short duration; 2) Copy the talk's link and paste it on the ted2srt.org. Select both your native and your target language. It's important to select your native language first; 3) Download the file and open it up in Word, OpenOffice or Google Docs; 4) Select the first paragraph in your target language and change the font color to gray or something else that unable you to see clearly what is written; 5) In the middle of the paragraph written in your native language and the paragraph in gray, you'll try to write a new paragraph in your target language. In the end, these three paragraphs will look like this: ------------------------------- (Portuguese) Oi. Meu nome é Cameron Russell, e nos últimos tempos tenho sido modelo. Na verdade, por 10 anos. E sinto que há uma tensão desconfortável na sala exatamente agora porque eu não deveria estar usando este vestido. (Risos) (My English Version) Hi. My name is Cameron Russell and the last little while I’ve been a model. Actually, for ten years. I feel that is a unconfortable tension in this room right now because I shouldn’t have been using this dress. (English - in gray) Hi. My name is Cameron Russell, and for the last little while, I've been a model. Actually, for 10 years. And I feel like there's an uncomfortable tension in the room right now because I should not have worn this dress. (Laughter) ------------------- Now compare what you've wrote written and take notes of new words, grammatical errors, new expressions and so on. This is one example that I did recently: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1b9WQecW-uwWNPY-Aho07X81iyR-r4fbH2spq1Q0wu5M/edit?usp=sharing

Do shopping or not to do, that's the question Everybody knows women are used to take an eternity to get ready. Because of that men are gifted with a special patience. Today, I'm going to tell you what happened to me a few days before I get married. My wife: Honey, look at me. How's this? Me: Is this your sister's hand-me-down dress? My wife: Yeah, it is. Me: Oh! Great! I've been waiting for you so long to get ready that now I'm felling older than that. (it's a joke) My wife: You're not entitled to complain, after all you never let me go shopping. Me: Don't you want to get married next month? My wife: Yes, I do. Me: So, still saving money. My wife: Why don't you stop annoying me? Me: I'm not annoying you. I've been meaning to tell you that your will to spend money doing shopping is starting to outweigh ours plans.

Party's dress Ana: Hi Reese! Please put mom on the phone. Reese: Hi Ana! ok, one moment please. mom: Hello Ana Ana: Hi mom, i need to talk to you, i`m this close to sneaking out of the Mark`s party. mom: what happened Ana" I have only hand-me-downs dresses, I used to have new dresses for wear, but now that we are poor, I always have to use hand-me-downs clothes. mom: ok Ana, after all, you are entitled to complain. I will send you money, so you can buy a new dress to go to the party. And don`t worry, i`m going to find a new job and this annoyance will go have end. Ana: Oh mom! How long it is going to take? mom: I don`t know Ana

A nice guy A nice guy Yesterday while I was in front of my house I saw a guy looking at me. He seems harmless, but at the end I discover that he was just pretending. Suddenly, he come right on me and said: The man: Hey, man, why don't you stash these drugs in your house behind the water heater? Me: What? Are you kidding? The Man: No, I'm not. Me: Get out of here right now! The Man: Take easy, man! Me: Take easy? Give me that! So I threw the drugs to the ground and I started to stomp on it.

At the market Mark: Hi, Peter, what I have to do with this vegetables? Peter: You know the drill. Mark: Sorry, I can't remember. Peter: Reseal the shrink wrap and put in the boxes. Mark: Where is the shrink wrap? Peter: It's behind the water heater. Mark. Ow! Someone stash this.

Paul and his cat Paul has finally decided to go together with us. For the last little while he became a very depressed guy. I don’t know what happped to him, I suspect it’s because his cat’s death. Once I asked him: Me: Paul, why are you getting so much depressed? Paul: Please, don’t be mad at me. I’m not going to open up with anyone. Me: Very well. I might as well just go home.