As a German I’m not familiar with dating culture. Whenever I went out with a guy who then became my partner, I didn’t consider it as a date but two friends hanging out together. In Germany, you then just split the bill. Or if one person feels like inviting the other, then the other person pays next time, regardless of the gender. I paid the bill when I went out for the first time with my now husband. As a Chinese he was shocked because in China it’s customary that the guy pays.

I think “should women pay for the first date” sounds like making it a rule that women always have to pay if they want a guy to go out with them for the first time. In general, I think that whoever suggests the date and picks the restaurant should pay because that would be the polite thing to do. Would anyone like to go out with someone who says “Let’s go to this fancy expensive place. You pay!”

I’m used to splitting the bill or taking turns in paying. If one person is much older and clearly has more money than that person should pay regardless of gender.

Nice question, Florian.

Life Z: I agree with you. To me, men and women are equal, so could someone, anyone, please explain why the man would be expected to pay? This is *not* a rhetorical question — I really want to know the reasoning. Do guys think that paying allows them to treat women in a more “traditional” way? In my experience, intelligent, attractive women find the notion that the man should always pay (as if women were incapable of or prohibited from earning and spending money) to be outdated at best, and sexist at worst. As Eunyeong Seo writes, “If you like the person, would you not be willing to pay for it?” The woman agrees to go out because she likes the person, doesn't she? If that is not the case, it really doesn’t matter who pays, because the “relationship” is doomed to fail. 

Should they pay? No. If a man offers to pay, I would not insist sharing the bill (like he disrespected me), and just say thank you. Also, I'm cool with men not paying for women.

However, if it is HIS idea to go to fancy a restaurant/bar together on the first date, I think he should be nice enough to pay the bill though. And I would answer "Let me pay next time then". Personally I wouldn't feel comfortable splitting a bill in a romantic high-class establishment. Either of the two pays the cost. (could be the man OR the women)

In more casual settings, it's generally OK to pay separately.

It's not a matter of equality. It is about showing a nice gesture that you care about the other person. No one can force anyone to give you a nice gesture, It only comes from the person who willingly offers it. And it's not only about dates. Business lunches, casual get-togethers with friends...If anyone wants to pay the bill to show that they had a good time, it's does not matter which one pays.

By the way, I'm from Japan, an "Eastern" country. In my generation, a lot of women do not think men SHOULD pay on a first date. It's also normal for women to share the bill. At the same time, Japanese women do not scream feminism to your face if a man offers to pay a bill. (although a lot of men would feel uncomfortable if women pay the whole bill on first dates)

In my idea, it is not just about paying for the first date, sometimes couples even friends may treat eachother for a meal or something though, but if we want equality between male and female, so we have to share everything equally, women should work, gain money, and pay for every expenses as much as men do. Why men should be responsible for everything? I know in some cultures women are just like burdens on men! Those customs MUST change. If we as "females" want to be counted in the community and asking for equality then we should start it from ourselves and STOP looking at men like an ATM!