Born to do what

I am now facing (faced ) with different choices of (in my ) life:to live a leisured life or to try to do something incredible and dreamy ( out of the ordinary ).
If I choose the life of leisure  life, I could find such an easy work (job) which doesn't (wouldn't) need too much effort or ambition, and after one year's work, I could find a husband from of equal status,and then live together till the end (death us do part).

But it is isn't it doubtful_if I could bear the plain and simple life just like that？I couldn't image (imagine) it.

I used to try to be outstanding and exceedingly good (excel), but have I got what I really want? Sometimes it's just covers my (a cloak for my) vanity.

I should think it over,what is my choice. (So again I must consider what is my best choice.)