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movie I recently rewatched A week ago i watched "vanilla sky" it's about a rich guy who inherited his father's company . he involved in a car accident which his friend who was driving decided to commit suicide and killing both of them this guy didn't know that his actions must have consequences .This accident got him disfigured he couldn't deal with that and his friend turned his back on him . he couldn't accept himself so he decided to lose himself in drags and committing suicide .There was a company called EL which got him frozen for 150 years lost in lucid dreams .Eventually his dream turned into nightmare and the man in charge of his case told him the truth and give him the choice if he wanted to live in a dream or woke up after 150 years and losing everything. His decision was to wake up ..who wants to live in a dream anyway .
2014年9月17日 19:28
修正 · 5

<em>(I pasted in your revised version for correction)</em>

A movie I recently rewatched again


A week ago, I watched "Vanilla Sky". It's about a rich guy who inherited his father's company. He've got involved in a car accident in which his friend, who was driving, decided to commit suicide and killed both of them.  This guy didn't realise that his actions must have consequences. He was disfigured in this accident got him disfigured He couldn't deal with this and also his friend turned his back on him. He couldn't come to terms with himself so he decided to lose himself in drugs and committed suicide. There was a company called EL which got him (frozen?) for 150 years and lost in lucid dreams. Eventually his dream turned into a nightmare.  The man in charge of his (case?) told him the truth and gave him the choice if he wanted to live to stay in the dream or wake up after 150 years and lose everything. His decision was to wake up. Who wants to live in a dream anyway?

 

<em>I found it hard to correct this as it is quite a strange story and I haven't seen it.  The main character seems to have died in a car accident and later committed suicide (killed himself). But he then lived on after both times.  I either got this wrong or I didn't understand how this could happen.  I also didn't understand about being "frozen".  If you want, you could revise it and post it again for another correction.</em>

<em>Check capitals and my punctuation changes.   Well done, Michael</em>

2014年9月18日

movie I recently rewatched

A week ago I watched "vanilla sky" it's about a rich guy who inherited his father's company . He've got involved in a car accident which his friend who was driving decided to commit suicide and killing both of them ,this guy didn't know that his actions must have consequences .This accident got him disfigured and he couldn't deal with that plus his friend turned his back on him . he couldn't accept himself so he decided to lose himself in drags and committing suicide .There was a company called EL which got him frozen for 150 years , lost in lucid dreams .Eventually his dream turned into a nightmare and the man in charge of his case told him the truth and give him the choice if he wanted to live in a dream or woke up after 150 years and losing everything. His decision was to wake up ..who wants to live in a dream anyway .

2014年9月18日
Thank you I appreciate your help , I'll try to concentrate next time .
2014年9月18日
''I'' must be always capital. Don't forget to use capital letters at the beginning of the sentences. Use preposition as it will make the sentence more clear and more expressive like ''This accident got him disfigured ((that)) he couldn't deal with that''. So, using ''that'' adds strong meaning about how much he has been disfigured. Use commas. Use determiners like ''a'' : Eventually his dream turned into a nightmare. ------ Advice : I think you are typing without concentration (just like I did at the first) but, during any exam , like TOEFL, you will concentrate and that's not like what you trained. Writing skills is extremely important not just how much vocabulary bank is. ----- P.S. Iam not teaching English just offering my help so, you can refuse it if you wish. Good luck.
2014年9月17日
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