Hey there, Dora,
Here are my suggested changes for your text (an 'X' represents an incorrect sentence, whereas asterisks '***' represent a strange-sounding or ambiguous sentence):
1. (X) I began to think more about life. Such the hobbies.
--> I began to think more about life, which led me to hobbies. // I began to think more about life, a big part of which are our hobbies.
2. (X) Why do we should have hobbies?
--> Why should we have hobbies?
3. (***) Have a hobby that will help you in your social life and connect with others.
--> Have a hobby that will help you in your social life and make it easier to connect with others. // Have a hobby that will help you grow in your social life and connect with others.
4. (X) Let you increase your expectations and excitement about life.
--> Hobbies let you increase your expectations and excitement about life. // Increase your expectations and excitement about life by taking up a hobby!
5. (X) So hobbies have many benefits, we better have hobbies.
--> So hobbies have many benefits; we'd better have hobbies. ("we'd better" = "we had better")
6. (***) And once you don't develop your hobby, your hobby slowly becomes no longer your hobby.
--> And once you've stopped developing your hobby, it slowly fades away/withers/dies/diminishes.
7. (X) Even if you have the time, the energy, the financial resources to develop your hobbies, but still can't lose them because you can't stick to it.
--> Even if you have the time, the energy, and the financial resources to develop your hobbies, it is still possible to lose them by not sticking to them. (The main problem with your sentence was the incorrect combination of the logical connectors "even if...but," which are not used together.)
8. (***) Hobbies are not what you like, so you will be able to stick to it until you have learned very well.
--> Hobbies are not always enjoyable, so you will need to stick to them until you have learned them very well.
9. (***) Let them develop their hobbies better.
--> Help them develop their hobbies better. (The problem with 'let' is that it make the parent sound very passive -- like a person whose goal is simply to 'not be an obstacle' as their child develops hobbies. I believe that 'help' paints a more active picture of the parent.)
For more practice and conversation, check out my teacher profile on Italki!
Best,
Ross



