How can I make this sound more natural and enthusiastic?
(They called together all the soldiers and gave pep talk before the war.)
“Now, my brave fellows, if you are unwilling to die, we have nothing more to say.”
“But if you would risk death, then let us risk it for the sake of fame and glory! Kings and nobles, generals and ministers-such men are made, not born!”
I translated the last paragraph as below.
Kalau kita akan menyabung nyawa, marilah kita menyabungnya untuk memberontak supaya kemasyhuran dan kegemilangan!
Raja dan bangsawan, jeneral dan menteri, semuanya tidak dilahirkan dengan kedudukan yang tinggi!
My biggest problem is that the translation doesn't sound like pep talk, it can't increase anyone's determination to succeed.
Not enthusiastic at all!