When we find something important in the train and think this might belong to the person sitting nearby we must say Is it yours? We often say おたくのですか？instead of あなたのですか？

The following is my personal order. 1.(the best): Using a person's name or person's established 'position' ”ライアンさんは”、”社長は”、”奥様は”、 2. (the second best) : (saying nothing, not using a personal pronoun. relying on context) 3. みなさん (only for plural) When I went out of the house and find the family next door are going out, I say, as a greeting, "おや、今日はみなさん、お出かけですか？（Oh, you are going out today?）” 4. Using direction words like そちら (meaning "you"). ”そちらは何になさいますか（＝何を飲みますか）？ コーヒー？ 紅茶? ” （Which do you prefer, coffee or tea?) .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... .... 100. (the last resort) 貴方。 I personally never use 貴方 except for when accusing someone. like それはあなたの責任でしょう(It is your fault)。 Once I say this, I and あなた won't be friends anymore. The word あなた draw the line between you and me. ※ You can see the genal use of あなた in the novel, films, animes, mangas. But it is, after all, fictions. I don't use あなた in real daily life. **** You can use あなた when... 1．when accuse someone, dispute with someone. https://detail.chiebukuro.yahoo.co.jp/qa/question_detail/q12200413657?__ysp=44GC44Gq44Gf あなたの行動もよく分からないです。 姑だけがおかしい訳ではないと思います。 2. in business notification. 「あなたの回答は取り消されました。あなたが回答した質問は、不適切な情報を含んでいるとみなされ削除されました」 3. in translation of Western novel 「おお、ナターシャ、私はあなたを愛しています？」 4. when talking on TV, not to an actual person in front of you, but to the national audience. TV personality saying 「さあ、次はあなたの番です！」 5. Dialogue in closed environment 「神は人間を愛している。あなたを愛している」 6．In books (Dialogue between the author and the reader 「あなたは20代のときBPDと自覚できましたか？ 私はまだ頭や感情のコントロールができない感じです」 7．In novels, popular songs, films, mangas, and animes. 宇多田ヒカル、「あなた」 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B25tW3A2HPM ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー Sometimes I think Japanese has NO personal pronoun. あなた、おまえ、おたく、わたし、おれ、わし、彼、彼女 are all NOUNs. Thinking like this would make things easier, after all.

I have the same question! It was tricky to make decisions about this when I went to Japan. I noticed that it was extremely rare for a native speaker to use any second-person pronoun. They almost always used my name or nothing. I did find this video: https://youtu.be/pPYMi2eemeA

You're correct! We rarely say あなた. I can't remember the last moment when I said あなた. :) When I need to imply that someone is the topic and I don't know his/her name, I would just simply omit "you" like this: Case 1: At a bank X is waiting for my turn to talk to a banker. An elderly lady with a kid, sitting next to X. The kid accidentally stamped on my foot. The lady:I'm so sorry. Are you all right? X:It's OK. Don't worry. Is he your grandson?(with smile) 女性：あー、ごめんなさい。だいじょうぶですか？ X：だいじょうぶですよ。きにしないでください。（わらいながら）おまごさんですか？ Please notice that X didn't say 「あなたの」おまごさんですか？ (If X is much older than the lady, X might say あなたのおまごさん. Elderly people sometimes use あなた to young people. But it could sound arrogant...) Case２： On a street, I happened to see that someone had just dropped her pass-case. I picked up it and stopped her. I: Excuse me, but did you drop this? She:Oh, yes! Thank you very much! 私：あの、すみません。これをおとしませんでしたか？ 彼女：あ、はい!　ありがとうございます！ Please notice I said これをおとしませんでしたか？omitting the subject, instead of saying like これはあなたのパスケースですか？ If I am to say this structured sentence, it's difficult to omit the possessive pronoun: これは「」パスケースですか？（this sounds very off...) So, I chose to say これをおとしませんでしたか？(it does still make sense without the subject) So, if it's just a short conversation, we can manage to do without second-person pronoun. If it's going to be a longer one, I would ask them about their names first. If any of these can't be applied, I would say そちら and the last option would be あなた.