Pelin
Are these sentences OK? Walk beside me, not in front of me. The only thing I want is you to be next to me. Your being next to me is the only thing I want. I'll show you that shop you asked about. When are you going to invite her to our house? I don't like it to be spoken of. Let's talk about something else.
2019年10月17日 22:11
解答 · 5
As I read this, I did not see anything that NEEDS to be changed. This looks to me like a poem. It portrays your emotions for someone. As Tanja stated, you COULD change a couple things (Also, I think they meant, "I don't like to talk about it") but doing so could change the tone of the poem. For example, adding the suggested changes may give the message a more "casual" feeling. But this poem feels deep, and I think that was your intention.
2019年10月19日
The only thing I want is FOR you to be next to me. I don't like it to be spoken of. <- This one is awkward. It would be a bit better as "I don't like it to be spoken about", but even then it is a bit odd. Tanja picked it up as odd, but then corrected it to a sentence that is even worse. Maybe a typo?
2019年10月17日
This kind of question should be submitted in the Notebook section where there are editing tools to show the corrections that I made. This isn't really a question but a request for corrections.
2019年10月17日
I don't like it talk about it. Let's talk about something else.
2019年10月17日
The only thing I want is for you to be next to me.
2019年10月17日
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