Your second sentence sounds much better. Many native speakers might say the first sentence, but it is not correct. Change "if" to "whether" to make it correct. It does sound natural but in most cases the second sentence sounds better and more businesslike. Also, I am not sure whether "director" is the person you mean here. It might be, but for most people it would be their immediate superior, immediate supervisor, or immediate manager. In a company that has more than one director only a very few employees would be immediately reporting to them. Most would report to an intermediate manager. In that case it may still be your director's decision whether or not to promote you, but s/he would not be your immediate director. I am from the UK, so things might be different in the US, or any of the other English speaking countries.

Hello! This is the correct way of writing the sentence: "It depends on my immediate director "whether" I can get a promotion." "whether" is the correct word because it it the conjunction which tells us that a choice is to be made - the "immediate director" is the one who will choose to promote the person in the sentence, or not. and "immediate director" can be used as there are different levels of directorships in some companies and it is possible that the director that is closest to the subject's position, will be making the decision. I hope that helps!

I think either way is acceptable. But I think the context is a little odd. "Depends on" often is used to describe an action that occurs outside of our control, but not always. -Or outside of human choice. Examples; Whether the dam breaks or not depends on the amount of rain that falls. Whether the plants will grow or not depends on the quality of the soil. Starfish depend on the tide rising each day. Since people make choices and control their world, I think your sentence sounds odd. The "Director" has control so he/she can simply choose to give a promotion. Maybe the "Depends on" phrase could be attached to some inanimate thing like choice, mood, or discretion. Examples that sound better to me; It depends on my immediate director's discretion as to whether I will receive a promotion. It depends on my immediate director's choice whether I receive a promotion or not.

The first sentence is perfectly clear, but if you are writing it I would go with "Whether I can get a promotion..." The first sentence is how someone might say it verbally. The second sentence is how someone would write it.