Depression I am 19 years old. There had been so many issues or incident in my family. Since my birth, I have been seeing. Thing is that my parents sacrificed a lot for their brothers or sisters and make us (the children) sacrifice too. Now when they are all fit and fine or established in their place they're not even grateful. On top of that, they are causing emotional harm to my parents. I never ever expected that the loved ones could do so whom we trusted so much. Just because of them we are facing a lot of problems in our personal family. Since after my birth, there had been a lot of incidents. Misunderstandings are being created among my parents. All of these effects me so much. I can't even ignore them or let them not effect me. Most of the time I stay depressed. I do look okay from the outside but inside I'm all broke. No one would understand what I go through most of the time. I had to see a lot of things which wasn't meant for me. I could have lived a normal life but a good life didn't choose me so. And I don't even have anyone with whom I can share my problems just to feel light. But others can share their problem with me. I don't know why I am not able to share. The thing is that I am afraid of being judged maybe? Everything is so fucked up in a complicated way. My life, my career, and my family too! I wanted a way out of this but there's only darkness anywhere I see. I am becoming mentally sick slowly. Neither do I want to trust anyone nor do I want to help anyone. People are so cruel. It's better to be selfish and not compromise for others. But it's too late for us to be selfish.

Volleyball Today in my college there was selection for the new volleyball team. I never played this game before so I was quiet nervous thinking I will get selected or not. Then the coach showed us once how to serve the ball. After that one by one everyone started to serve the ball and whose serving were good the coach was selecting them. All my friends got selected and I served at the last. I was so nervous. Then I took a breath and my turn came. I thought I will not be able to serve properly. Then I just served the ball like the coach had shown. And guess what! my performance was so good like an almost perfect volleyball serving at the first shot. The coach was impressed with my serving and selected me. I myself was surprised with my performance.

Ambulance AMBULANCE A horrible thing ever!. Whenever I saw an ambulance before I would wish that I wanna take a ride in an ambulance just for fun. It was so foolish of me until that night arrived. Later one day a situation came up and i had to ride on ambulance. The situation was so dangerous , my father had a serious stroke and we had to call for an ambulance to take him to the hospital. The whole time I was in ambulance , I cried and was so tensed. And it was my first ride in an ambulance. Then I never ever again wished for a ride in an ambulance because you ride in that only when there is a dangerous or serious situation. Also, an ambulance takes you to no better place but hospital where no one wants to go. Since after that night whenever I see an ambulance on road, I get scared and feel so bad looking at the people inside this vehicle as to what pain they must be going through. It reminds me of that horrible night.

which word is appropiate to be in the blank? clear/cleared? I think I have made our position very _________ .

I am sick. Since yesterday I have been suffering from intense fever and caught cold also. I have been feeling so weak. Today I took some medicine and and was feeling quite better. Still, i am sweating and feeling a little bit weak. Hope I will get well soon.

Why I am on italki. Hello I am Tahia. I am learning English for bringing more fluency.I know this language adequately.But I feel nervous when I talk to someone in English. That is why I am looking forward to get practice partners here on italki and reduce inertia in speaking English.