Pretty good work there. Apart from the error Callum mentioned, there's one tiny thing I'd like to point out as well.
When you want to translate اپنی ساری or میری ساری for example (in the first sentence you've said my all savings...) to English: I understand a direct translation would be to say my all/your all etc because in Urdu we say the possessive pronoun first and then saara/saari/saare.
However, in English, we have to put the "all" before the possessive. So, we'd say "all my savings" and not "my all savings".