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#italkiLesson
italki Lessons are 1-on-1 video chat lessons between italki Teachers and Students. Share your experiences with italki Lessons with other italki Students and Teachers here.
I want to speak English; this is the wrong goal! Do you want to be more motivated to achieve your English-language-related goals but sometimes feel demotivated? Do you feel the desire to achieve the goals faster but see yourself at a slow pace? And do you believe there are methods to help you? If you'll turn to psychology and look at solutions for your English language-related goals, you'll find something I am here to help you gain—the understanding of secondary gains! In psychology, a secondary gain is when you benefit from a problem. It’s when you receive advantages from unwanted conditions, circumstances, or limitations. In other words, you benefit from not overcoming problems.  It doesn’t mean the problem is positive, but the benefits of having the problem support you in keeping it rather than solving it. Secondary gains are guides to help you get unstuck. They’re an invitation to understand the advantages you receive from retaining problems instead of solving them. In simple terms, you crave attention and accidentally injure yourself. As a result, people care for you. You get what you want (attention), but at the expense of what you don’t want (injury). Is it now clear to you? What are your secondary gains from not following through on your language learning goals that you benefit from? Listen to my recording to get more ideas & be inspired: https://www.italki.com/en/post/YgikYWNEKeI3NtfcIUaCMG This might be a game-changer for you in learning to communicate in English confidently and fluently. Give it a go and allow yourself some space to think and resolve some uncommon issues. Good luck.
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