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What are different ways to give advice to someone without being dominating or harsh.

So I was talking to my native English speaker friends in a group call. And someone suggested using the word "should", something like "You should go out and get a drink". And among them, a guy felt it as if it's dominating.

So I was just wondering how to suggest someone in a polite way.

Of course, I googled it and few of the ways are indirectly giving them suggestions like - " have you considered going out and grab a drink", "have you thought of going out and grab a drink" etc. 

So how you are going to advise your friend in a polite way?


Edited: I have added a few of these from comment sections. Thank you for helping me out.  

-" Why don't you go out for drinks?"

-"How about you go out for drinks?"

- you could try “could”

- “you might want to.”

 -“We should go out for drinks sometime”

Kommentare · 7

4
I think that the use of 'should' in that context isn't really bad. Your tone could make it seem more like a command than a suggestion, however. The suggestions you listed from the internet seemed like good alternatives as well.
Another way to have asked could be, "Why don't you go out for drinks?" or "How about you go out for drinks?"
Americans may respond negatively to a direct command like "You should do this" but asking about it in question form, such as "Why don't you do this?" is much more polite.
3
I agree with Ellis — “should” should work fine. It’s just a matter of using the right tone of voice. If you want something softer, you could try “could”, or you might want to say “you might want to.” In any case, you should definitely pay attention to your intonation.

2

I don’t think anyone would really consider “should” as impolite. It’s just that sometimes people are in a don’t-you-be-telling-me-what-I-need-to-do mood. And no matter how politely and tentatively you make a suggestion then, they’ll always feel like you’re patronising them. It's an issue of human behaviour rather than a language problem.

2

Your friend wasn’t being impolite at all. In English, words like “should” and “must” can be polite suggestions, depending on the tone of voice and the context.<o:p></o:p>

For example, “We should go out for drinks sometime” is the same as saying, “Let’s go out for drinks sometime”

"You must come over for dinner" usually means you're inviting someone to come to your home and have dinner with you.

"You must buy that book", for example, can mean you really recommend the person buys it, because you love the book so much yourself and you think it would be great for them to buy it too.

1
Oh! should is my magic word  i always use it!

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