First notebook entry: Introducing myself

This is 1 I am Jerry, from Shanghai, China. I am a postgraduate student who is about to compete 2 apply for a job in the legal field law-oriented job to feed myself.3 However, a Any good job in China requires a good command of English skill, a perfect job requires a perfect one, The better the job is, the greater command of English is required.  My English is not so great well, especially when it comes to speaking. from the oral angle, what's worse, Because of this, my boss even thinks i'm poor at my English is damn poor. So here I am; eagerly to improve my English. badly badly, somebody pls help  Please help!

Don't use abbreviations or short forms in your formal writing.  I treat all note entries as formal essays and comments, emails as informal.

1.  This considered as impolite in English.  It sounds like you are someone who is superior to the one you are talking to.  However, it is okay if you are talking on the phone and say, "This is Jerry here. or This is Jerry speaking... May I help you?"

2.  Although this is true, it's too direct. 太明顯.

3.   画蛇添足

First notebook entry: Introducing myself

This is 1 I am Jerry from Shanghai, China. I am a postgraduate student who is and am about to compete for 2 an important law-oriented job to feed myself. However, a good job requires a good English skills,3 a perfect job requires a perfect one, and my English is not the best so well, especially from the oral angle. What's worse 4 is that even my boss even thinks my English is poor. So I am 5 very eager to improve my English badly badly, somebody pls help!

1. Jeff is absolutely correct about this, "This is" is more informal and also more common when talking over the phone or leaving a voice message. You wouldn't go up to someone and introduce yourself by saying, "This is ____". It's more said when the other party cannot see you. Not so much a superior v underling impolite problem; it's more situation-based. However, it is perfectly acceptable to use "this is" to introduce other people to each other, for example, "Hello, this is John from work", "John, this is Stacy, my wife"

2. "to feed myself" is a bit too personal/direct (Jeff is right again) for a more formal writing. I added "important" to keep some emphasis

3. I believed the "perfect job" statement to be unnecessary given the context of the sentence

4. There are a number of ways you could state this sentence; I just chose to use "is that even my boss...". Other options include, "is that my boss even"; "is my boss even" etc. The "that" isn't necessary but I think it sounds slightly better. It is also possible to insert a "that" after "thinks"

5. I believe you wanted to emphasize this with "badly, badly" but it is not correct; so I put in a "very" to keep the emphasis

Good luck with your English studies! I hope your job application process goes smoothly as well!

First notebook entry: Introducing myself

My name is Jerry from Shanghai, China. I am a postgraduate student who is about to compete for a law-oriented job to feed myself. However, a good job requires good English skills while a perfect job requires perfect English skills. My English is not very good, especially conversationally.  What's worse is that my boss even thinks my English is poor. So I am very eager to improve my English, somebody pls help!