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MOTIVATION Management, as a field, has always fascinated me since I observed how the ant moved. This, I believe, was a turning point in my life. The orderly scene of ants’ move left a deep impression on me. Just like ants, as long as with reasonable division of labor and cooperation, people can fulfill the task with high-efficiency in a shorter time, which, I believe, is the core of the management. Under the influence of my grandfather, I have been quite familiar with many military issues. As far as I am concerned, the key to win a war lies in the tactical use of military strategies leading to maximum benefit with minimum cost. The same goes for the business field-another battlefield without gunpowder. Nowadays, in the fierce global competition environment, a company has to be extremely sensitive to the user’s needs and try to meet the requirements of the user's experience while maintaining vested interests. As the strategy lover, I believe expect to give full play to my talents in the field of strategy management.

Korrekturen · 7

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Uhh..No problem! Glad to be of help..!
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O(∩_∩)O,thanks for ur help!!
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Alright sure,off the top of my head. "the key to win a war " the "win "should be "winning". " The orderly scene of ants’ move left a deep impression on me" Sounds a bit odd. I think it would be better to say "The orderly scene of the ants' movement left a deep impression on me" that is just my personal opinion. Finally I feel that "as the strategy lover" should be "as a strategy lover" . Those are just things I felt personally looked a bit odd to me and since you were asking for tips. Hopefully someone else can give you tips on your writing. Also "please point some mistikes in this essay.i need help" Should be "Please point out some mistakes in this essay. I need help."
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please point some mistikes in this essay.i need help.
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What tips are you looking for?

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