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China flaged lee
a joke one day,5 animals sitting on a boat to cross the river, but crazy wind blows, and 4 of them must jump into the water to lose weight,so they dicided that they all tell funny stories, the one who smile must jump into water , goat, cat, horse,donkey all die for they langhing, except pig, so ,the pig safely reached to the beach,suddenly,the pig laughed and laughed,and shouting:"oh,I got it,I got it!

Korrekturen · 9

1

a joke

one day,there were 5 animals sitting on a boat to cross a the river, but a crazy wind blows, so and 4 of them have tomust jump into the water to lose weight,so they decideddicided that each of themthey all will tell a funny story stories, the one who smiled have tomust jump into the water. The goat, cat, horse,donkey were all died die from  for they laughing langhing, except for the pig, so ,after the pig safely reached  reached safely to the beach,suddenly,the pig laughed and laughed,and shouted shouting:"oh,I got it,I got it!"

1

a joke

one day,5 animals sitting on a boat to cross the river, but the crazy wind blows, and 4 of them must jump into the water to lose weight,so they dicided that they all tell funny stories, the one who smile must jump into water , goat, cat, horse,donkey all die for they langhing, except pig, so ,the pig safely reached to the beach,suddenly,the pig laughed and laughed,and shouting:"oh,I got it,I got it!

0

a A joke

oOne day,5 animals were sitting on a boat to cross the a river, but a crazy wind was blowsing, and 4 of them must had to jump into the water to lose weight lighten the load in the boat, so. tThey dicided decided that they would all tell funny stories, the one who smiled first must jump into water , . The goat, cat, horse, and the donkey all died for they langhing because they laughed, .except The pig, did not laugh, so, the pig safely reached to the beach safely,. sSuddenly,the pig laughed and laughed,and shouting:"oh, I've got it, I've got it!

 

You need to leave a space after a comma, and try to use some full stops rather than commas. Some of your sentences were impossible long. Oh and next time, post your work in English, in the English section, not the Chinese. That way you will recieve more corrections from native English speakers.

0

A joke

One day, five animals sitting on a boat to cross the river,

The first sentence has to begin with a captial O.

Normally for numeral below 10 are wriitten in words form. One, Two,... Five.

 

A crazy wind blows, and four of them must jump into the water to lose [the ship] weight.

So they decided that to tell funny stories, the one who laugh must jump into the water , goat, cat, horse,donkey all die for they langhing, except pig.

Thus,the pig reach safely to the beach shores.

Suddenly,the pig laughed and laughed,and shouted:"oh,I got it,I got it!

---

So the pig's the dumb creature?...

0
Lesson: Being smart is not always good and being slow can sometimes save one's life ??? : D

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