Part I : Mina-san watashi wa umaku kaite <strike>iru</strike> imasu ka? (masaka! D...ame desu ka?!)
Watashi no suki na nihonjin kashu wa Ozaki Yutaka-san desu. Kare no uta wa yasei to denki to shoojiki o kanjimasu. Kare no uta ha yasei teki de ari, marude karada no naka wo denki ga hashiru youni shigeki teki desu. Soshite jibun ni shoujiki dato kanjimasu.Ozaki Yutaka-san no uta no naka de, Sheri ga ichiban suki desu.
<strike>Sonna</strike>Sono uta de kare wa jinsei o <strike>utau</strike>utatteimasu.
<strike>Kare wa kare no uta o shiro ni o kakureru shinai. Kare mo damasanai.</strike> Kare ha arinomama no jibun wo sarakedashite imasu. (sarakedasu means shows real oneself up)
Kare wa kare no uta o ikiru. (I don't understand clearly what you mean by He lives his song. 'Kare ha kare no uta ni ikiteimasu' Is it right?)
Kare no joonetsu to shoojiki sa wa kare <strike>ga</strike> wo
kyooryoku ni <strike>natte</strike> shi, mata kare <strike>ga</strike> wo zeijaku ni <strike>narimasu </strike>shimasu. Kare no jounetsu to shoujiki sa ha kare wo tsuyoku suru hanmen kizutsukiyasuku mo shimasu.
Yutaka Ozaki-san wa eien ni iki tsuzukemasu.
One of my favorite Japanese singer is Yutaka Ozaki. His songs feel like wild, electric and real/honest. In the song Shelly, he sings life. He does not hide behind his songs. He does not cheat either. He lives his songs. Therefore his passion and honesty make him powerful. It also makes him vulnerable. Ozaki Yutaka will live on forever.
Umaku kakete imasu yo!
The content like this expressing the feeling is more difficult than describing things. So please don’t take it seriously that I colored a lot, it is just one of examples.
Yutaka’s son named Ozaki Hiroya (尾崎裕哉) has recently debuted as a radio DJ, also sings his father’s song ‘I love you’ in a commercial of ANA American express card. His voice is exactly like his father’s.
Amex CM: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsia3Sg9eVo">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsia3Sg9eVo</a>;
Private video 2 year ago: <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xagr7x_i-love-you_shortfilms">http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xagr7x_i-love-you_shortfilms</a>;
OK, I try to explain but I am not sure if I can do it correctly XD
1) Adding ‘teki’ （的） at the end of noun makes nouns into adjectives. The meaning is -atic, -esque,
-ical
In the correction, I wrote it after space for distinguishing easily.
Eg:
kindai 近代 →kindaiteki 近代的 ‘kindaiteki na tatemono’ ‘ Kono biru ha kindaiteki da’
risou 理想 →risouteki 理想的 ‘risouteki na kangae’ 'Yoru 10-ji madeni nerereba risouteki daga, sore ha mutsukashii'
shi 詩 → shiteki 詩的 ‘shiteki na bunshou’
Here is the link for your reference. Scroll down to ‘Using的’ and see the video.
<a href="http://thejapanesepage.com/grammar">http://thejapanesepage.com/grammar</a>;
2) 'atte' is also appropriate. 'yasei teki de atte denki teki desu. (acuturally denki teki is not so common phrase but I think it is all right)
'de atte' and 'de ari' originally come from 'de aru/arimasu'.
'de atte' is used more in spoken.
Original form is 「......de ari......demo aru/arimasu」
Regarding your essay, 'arimasu' sounds too formal in that sentence, because expressing individual feeling, so I used 'desu' instead. In that case 'demo' should be omitted to make sound natural.
In that sentence, the following clause is adversative meaning and you used a conjunction ‘mata’.
‘site’（して）is conjugation of SURU (する) plus particle’ te’ (て). It is usually used for parallel arrangement of two clauses and sequential action. So using both 'shite' and 'mata' doesn’t make a sense.
‘shi’ (し) is conjugation of SURU(する) and it can be punctuated by「 、」. it can be used the way 「....ni shi ....mata.....nimo suru/shimasu.
I wrote another version above in blue that does not use conjunction, but use ‘hanmen’ instead to express the adversative meaning.
3) ‘sa’ is a suffix that makes a noun out of mainly adjective, equivalent to -ness, -ty.
It expresses character, condition, degree and so on.
Eg:
Tsurai（つらい）→ tsurasa ' wakare no tsurasa' (the pain of saying goodbye) 'shigoto no tsurasa wo kanjiru' (feel hard work)
Yasashii（やさしい）→ yasashisa 'kare no yasashisa ga suki' (I like his kindness)
4) 'hanmen' （反面） means on the other side
'kizutsukiyasui' means vulnerable, sensitive, brittle, and same as zeijaku, but more common word. 'Kizutsukiyasuku naru' is to become vulnerable. 'kizutsukiyasuku shimasu/suru is 'His passion and honesty make him like that'
It might be hard to understand all, but you will learn step by step.
I hope my poor English with limited vocabulary and terrible grammar would not make you more confused.
