I'm not a fatalist (Part I)
"So, my dear master of magic tapestry, shall I order a dessert?" Irma looks at me curiously, suspecting a new tale. "Last time you began telling me about granny’s attic, what happened with it?"
“Tale-for-dessert” is our old tradition; we played this game almost twenty years ago to the common joy (for our mutual amusement?).
"Well, nothing special about that attic, actually. I even berated myself for climbing up to this old, wrecked chamber. There was a lot of stuff around: old grandfather’s toys, a broken distaff, a rusty axe without a handle and other trash. You know how it usually happens. And there was a window: it was so dusty that the sun could hardly squeeze through it. Beside the window there was a vespiary as abandoned as granny’s house. So, I stood in the middle of all this stuff thinking about what did I want to find there was looking for, when unexpectedly a something fell down to on my head. At first I decided that the roof was going to fall and I jumped aside and crashed into a beam with my forehead. There was a really huge mark afterward! ..
(to be continued)
Not bad, Antarien.
"old grandfather's toys" - is that old in relation to the grandfather or the toys? "grandfather's old toys" - the toys are old, as grandfather is obviously going to be old.
"mar" tends to be an old-fashioned word - a blemish. A mark, would be more common, but it might even be better to be more specific: a bruise, for example.
"vespiary" - I feel like I'm in the presence of Vladimir Nabokov. I didn't even know what it was. A wasp nest sounds much more natural.
Regards,
Simon.