Describe a city - Beijing

I was around 10 when our family visited Beijing at the first time.

This sentence structure will always use for the first time. I was around 10 when our family visited Beijing for the first time.

The memory of the great wall, the Summer Palace and the forbidden city is still deep in my mind.

Use capital letters for names -  Great Wall

My parents took me to the Peking university like most Chinese parents usually did, but I was too young to understand the deep meaning

Tense  - most Chinese parents usually do (it is 'do' because parents still take their children there to visit at present time. If you use 'did', then that means now, no parents take their children to Peking University)

After ten years, I came here as a student of Peking university by chance.

Choice of words - I came here as to be a student of Peking university by chance

Then I settled down as a doctor after graduating.

As one of the metropolis, Beijing is the political, economic and cultural center of China, which provide a good platform for both further education and career development.

Choice of words - 'As one of the metropolis' I have rarely seen this choice of expression. Use 'As the capital city, .....'

Tense - 'which provides a good platform'

Most of top-quality public education and medical resources are concentrated on this city. That is why so many people come and live here. Self-improvement is necessary to survive from the intense competition.

I have to say, this stress makes me a better person and leads me to an unpredictable future with challenge.

Choice of words - 'I have to say, this stress makes me a better person but leads me to an unpredictable and challenging future.'

But I suffer from stress, accelerated aging and sub-health at times.

Sentence structure - 'However, I also suffer from stress, early ageing and poor health'.

'Accelerated ageing process' and 'sub-optimal health' are more scientific terms to be used with that type of readers.

As is known to everyone, haze pollution here in Beijing is so frequent and severe due to rapid economic growth, fast urbanization and expanding population, which is a serious threat to heath.

Choice of words and order - 'As everyone knows, haze pollution here in Beijing is a serious threat to health because it is so frequent and severe due to rapid economic growth, fast urbanization and an expanding population'

Describe a city - Beijing

perfect