박소연(So-yeon)
Is this sentence natural? Well, when I was young, I couldn't afford to go to college, so I decided to attend college while working. I've decided on this for quite a while now. Since I have work during the day, online classes from the Credit Bank System of the University seem like a perfect fit for my schedule. I can finally pursue my education while balancing my job.
1. Aug. 2023 13:24
Antworten · 11
1
'Well, when I was young, I couldn't afford to go to college, so I decided to attend college while working. I've decided on this for quite a while now.' Perhaps you are referring to two different decisions, the one you made when you were young, and the decision you made to attend online classes from the Credit Bank System. That is not clear. It appears to create a tense conflict (I decided vs. I've decided), and to say something obvious (that when you were younger was quite a while ago). When you say you decided on 'this,' that most naturally refers to the preceding sentence, rather than what follows.
1. August 2023
1
The first sentence contains a time conflict. "When I was young" establishes a frame of time but then, mid-sentence you say "so I decided" and that creates confusion. When did you decide? The sentence states you decided when you were young, but I don't think that is what you meant to say.
1. August 2023
1
Well, when I was young, I couldn't afford to go to college, so I decided to attend college while working. I have been planning this for quite a while now. Since I work during the day, online classes from the Credit Bank System of the university seem like a perfect fit for my schedule. I can finally pursue my education along with working. We can't say "decided this" so I have added "I have been planning this". "I have work" is not a right fit in the sentence so I replaced it with "I work". In the end instead of "while balancing my job" I have written "along with working" because this is a better way of saying what you're trying to say. I hope this helps!
1. August 2023
1
When I was young, I couldn't afford to go to college. I decided to attend college while working, and I've been planning this for a while. I work during the day, so online classes from the Credit Bank System of the University are a perfect fit for my schedule. I can finally pursue my education while balancing my job. The following are the specific changes I made: I removed the phrase "Well," as it is unnecessary and informal. I changed the verb tense from past to present, as the paragraph is about something that is still happening. I added the word "and" before "I've decided on this for quite a while now," to make the sentence flow more smoothly. I changed the phrase "seem like a perfect fit for my schedule" to "are a perfect fit for my schedule," to make the sentence more concise. I added the word "finally" before "pursue my education," to emphasize the speaker's excitement about finally being able to go to college.
1. August 2023
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박소연(So-yeon)
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Chinesisch (Mandarin), Englisch, Französisch, Japanisch, Koreanisch, Russisch, Thailändisch, Vietnamesisch