David has just given you a good answer with examples. Take into account that 'news' is an uncountable noun, singular. - This is good news. - Bad news travels faster than good news. - The news I heard today was unbelievable! - A piece of news; two pieces of news...

You would say "I have two *pieces* of news." You can also say "I have good news and bad news"

I think you might be referring to the common joke setup. Then you can say "I've got some good news and bad news". You may find more interesting related information here (with examples): https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/258235/origin-first-known-use-of-the-phrase-ive-got-some-good-news-and-some-bad-news