Generally the only time you would use "had" is if the other person's current status is unknown.
Have you two spoken lately would be asked by someone who knows, or believe they know, the status of the other person.
A detective who is working on a murder case, or a missing persons case, may use "had you two spoken lately?" if they know the person is no longer living or able to talk. They may, however, use "have" as well.
In short, have you two spoken lately would be used where both people are known or believed to still be in contact with each other, whereas had you spoken implies that person isn't able to speak for some reason.
It's a good question but I'm finding it somewhat hard to be succinct in an answer. Does that help at all?