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susan
请大家看看这个自我介绍有没有错误
Hi everyone! My name is David, you can call me Davi. I'm six years old and I come from Xi'an. I like playing games because I feel happy when playing games with others. I also like to meet with my friends when I am free and I also like to be visited.
26. Sep. 2019 03:22
Antworten · 8
1
最后一句用,meet with更简洁一些
26. September 2019
xi'an -> Xi'an, 因为是专有名词
I also like to meet with my friends when I am free and I also like to be visited.
同意,应该说get together with my friends或者hang out with my friends
get together或者hang out的话,谁去看谁不清楚,所以不需要说and I also like to be visited,因为get together和hang out已经有这个意思
26. September 2019
There are quite a few simple mistakes.
Names and the start of a sentence should be capitalised.
Punctuation like commas and full stops (periods) should have exactly one space after them, and no spaces before. Please tell other people in China that this is necessary.
Grammatically, most of it is OK, except the last sentence. 'like' and 'visit' are present tense, 'was' is past.
'be visited' doesn't make sense on it's own. Perhaps 'and I also like to be visited'.
26. September 2019
yeah,thank you
30. September 2019
A small note: The "friendly" form of the name David is usually spelled Davy (pronounced DAY-vee) -- at least in the USA. Your spelling, "Davi", looks more middle-eastern and would be pronounced DAH-vee.
30. September 2019
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susan
Sprachfähigkeiten
Chinesisch (Mandarin), Englisch
Lernsprache
Englisch
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