A Primary School teacher was having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the Primary 1. My sister is in Primary 3 and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in Primary 3 too!"
The teacher took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.
The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the Primary 1, and behave.
The teacher agreed. Harry was brought in. The conditions were explained, and Harry agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36"
And so it went with every question the principal thought a Primary 1 student should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Harry can go to Primary 3."
The teacher says to the principal, "May I ask him some tougher questions?"
The principal and Harry both agree.
Teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two ?"
Harry: "Legs."
Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" (The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!)
Harry: "Pockets."
Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants."
Teacher: "What's starts with a C and ends with a T, and it is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?" (The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer....)
Harry: "Coconut."
Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
Harry: "Bubblegum."
Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and dog do on three legs?" (The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...)
Harry: "Shake hands."
Teacher: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?"
Teacher: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do." Who am I??
Harry: "A Tent. "
Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first." What am I ??
(Principal was looking restless and a bit tense)
Harry: "A Wedding Ring."
Teacher: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, I feel good." What am I??
Harry: "A Nose."
Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver." What am I??
Harry: "An Arrow."
Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put this ass in Primary 6 ! I got the last 10 questions all wrong myself."
One day James complain to Thomas. James said that his elbow is hurt. Thomas suggest him to go to high tech medical computer in the pharmacy near his house. Thomas said that this new computer can diagnose any disease faster than doctor and cheaper than regular doctor.
“Just insert your urine and computer will diagnose your problems and said to you what you should do. The fee is just $5.” Said Thomas.
Then. James thought it’s really cheap and easy. So he fill the little bottle with his sample urine and went to the pharmacy. He saw the computer, James pour the urine and insert the $5.
At that moment the computer start processing it take out weird sounds and blinking. After heard “BEEP” sound, there is paper come out from the computer, written:
“Hurt on your elbow is because of you played tennis too much. Rinse your elbow with hot water. Don’t do weight lifting for few weeks, hope it get better in two weeks.”
At night, James still amazed with that computer. He thought that now medical world really has increasing and changed the age. Then he thought if the computer could be cheated. He quickly make a mixed liquid from water crane in his house add up with the urine from his dog, urine from his daughter and urine from his wife. And top of that he add up his masturbation’s sperm. Then he’s back to the pharmacy and went to the computer. He pour the liquid and insert the $5. The computer take out weird sounds and blinking. Then a sheet of paper come out, It’s written:
“Water crane in your house is too cold, try to buy water heater. Your dog is wormy, give him vitamin. Your daughter used cocaine, put her into rehabilitation’s clinic. Your wife is pregnant again, it’s girl and twins, not doing it from you, Find the lawyer. And If you don’t stop masturbation, your elbow will never get better."
A mother entering her daughter’s room and saw a letter on her bed. With anxious she read that letter, her hand is trembling while she hold on the letter.
“Hi mom, with regret and beg for your forgiveness I must say that I ran with my new boyfriend. I’m very Loveeee him and he’s very cool too with tattoo that his got all over his body and also with his piercing at everywhere. Guess what, He has a huge very cool bike, mom.
Not just that mom, Now I’m pregnant and James said that we will be happy lived in his hut in the jungle. He wants a lot of kids and that also my dream. Oh by the way, marijuana is not dangerous like you said and we plans to cultivate it for us and also for our friends. We barter it with ecstasy and cocaine.
Meanwhile, we also pray that hopefully the scientist will finally found the cure for AIDS so that James could get well soon. Don’t be afraid mom, Now I’m already 15 years old, and already know how to take care of myself. Maybe later I will visit home so that mom could see my child.”
With Love,
Your daughter
Jane
PS:
Mom, it’s just a lie ^^. Now I’m at the neighbor’s house. I just want to let you know that still many worse things than just a bad grade. The paper is on my desk.
I LOVE YOU MOM.
Hi friend's from now im interested to learn chinese and i hope some one will help me to learn.
