Correcting a term paper - could any of you guys help me ?:-) Hey guys :-) I am a student from Germany studying Englsih. Tomrrow I have to hand in a 9 pages term paper in English. Is anyone out there who could correct it for me and give me some feedback? This would be so helpful to me! Unfortunately, I cannot post the whole text here, but if someone would like to help me I can send the text via email. Hope someone answers of you guys :-) Thanks a lot in advance! Martina

This is part 2 guys, thank you so much for a correction and feedback!! :) Furthermore, I consider the semester abroad being an adventure for me since I need to adapt to a new way of living and to build up a new environment for myself what I hope to achieve and what I am really looking forward to. My first choice of university I would like to go to is St. Mary’s University in Halifax, Canada. The second choice is Leiden University in the Netherlands, and my third choice is the University of Sheffield in Great Britain. My interest for Canada has been raised when I did a project in school about Canada, especially about the history and life of the First Nations. I was fascinated by their community values and beliefs but also by the beautiful country in general. As my special interest in studies applies to postcolonial writing in English, the country with its colonial background would offer a great possibility to deepen my knowledge in this field. For me, the most attracting thing about Canada is the immense diversity of the country in regard to nature as well as to the people living there. St. Mary’s University has a wide range of subjects, covering all my three subjects English, French and Sociology. Especially for English, there is a remarkable number of courses available. A big advantage of St. Mary’s is that student dorms are on-campus and university is easily accessible on foot. Beyond the remarkable number of courses and the comfortable dormitory possibilities, St. Mary’s University offers a sports program with plenty of things to try out. I was especially delighted to see that they also offer Curling, a type of sport I have always been curious about to try out.

Hey guys :) Could anybody !!Could anybody correct my letter of motivation?? Part 1 Dear Team of the Study Abroad Office, Hereby I would like to apply for a semester abroad in the upcoming academic year 2016/2017. My name is M., I am 22 years old and I am currently in the third semester of the Bachelor SLK. I decided to apply for a semester abroad since I would like to broaden my knowledge about different cultures and languages, exchange with others and also challenge myself in order to develop personally. My desire for studying abroad aroused while my voluntary year at the International Office of the University of M. My work, which consisted of the support of incoming students ranging from enrolment, accompaniment to authorities, right up to guided tours on the campus, really gave me an insight into different cultures and made me curious about living and studying abroad. I also got the possibility to participate in several intercultural trainings and workshops together with the international students where I experienced for the first time what a German stereotype looks like for other countries and tried to convince them a little from the opposite. I enjoyed this time a lot because for me anything can be as valuable and educational as meeting different cultures and sharing life experiences with others. I would love to get the opportunity to experience another culture and give others an understanding of mine. Moreover, I believe it is always rewarding to leave one’s own comfort zone and try out something new and challenging as for me would be going abroad. The goals I seek to achieve abroad concern my studies as well as my personal development. I am interested in getting to know another university system and the differences in teaching methods in comparison to German universities. Additionally, I would like to gain a different angle on my fields of study and learn how the different themes of studies are approached at the foreign university. Moreover, I am thinking about taking up a job besides studying in order to develop a network for my future perspectives and to get some work experience in the country. However, I think what is most important and what does not depend on the country or the culture are the people who one is surrounded by during that time. Therefore, I hope to meet and exchange with a lot of people, get inspired by their culture and get friends with them. I hope I can do this through student initiatives, university sports or other activities.

Hey guys :) this is part 2 of the essay, thank you very much to everyone who helps me improving! :) The forum in the game “Quandary” also encourages players to come into discussion, especially children. Quandary is about life on the fictional planet Braxos thirty-two light years away from earth. On this planet there are humans as well as animals that were sent there for a colonial expansion program. The player takes on the role of a captain of this colony and has to solve the conflicts that naturally arise on the planet. The game’s forum is parted in sections for players, teachers and parents as the game is rather for children. Within the player section, children debate about alternative playing possibilities or about opinions on the game. Obviously, the posts show that children with different language skills are engaged in the discussions. In the teacher and parents section, exchange is been done on how children react on the game and to which extent it can be used in school. As the survey showed, parents do not necessarily be concerned when their children are in front of the computer playing games. Particularly Quandary and its forum is in my opinion a great way for children to get in touch with others on a topic and learn from posts and opinions. Moreover it enhances critical thinking and decision making not only of children but also of adults who are as well inspired by the game in large numbers. If language proficiency is a benefit of gaming it would be quite interesting to investigate whether gaming could also encourage social or mental proficiency or used for even greater goals.

Hey guys :) could anyone of you correct part 1&2 of my essay and give me some feedback/ tips? :) Although there exists a huge repertoire of learning games on the pc game market by now, most parents are still rather concerned than happy seeing their children in front of the computer playing games. However, a survey by a university in New York came to the result that video gaming in general contributes to language proficiency of gamers. Especially through game forums, gamers can improve their language skills, a fact that I will show on the example of the children’s game “Quandary”. The survey took place between 2010 and 2011, revealing two main aspects of language improvement. While the one year period a forum of a popular gaming platform called Civilization Fanatics was observed and non-native speaker participants of the English language were asked about the language learning profit they gained from playing as well as from being engaged in discussions in the forum about a game. The survey revealed that the actual playing of a game doesn’t contribute that much to language improvement of the non-native speakers. The players said that the actual playing helped them learning new vocabulary depending on the game for instance terms of history, mechanics or military terminology. Whereas being engaged in the forums actually made them using English frequently. According to game players, the forums are an excellent way to use English and improve language skills simultaneously. Whenever the players came across difficulties in the game, wanted to debate over skills or strategies or just didn’t reach their goal they signed in on the forum to ask other players for help. The only rule of the forum is to use English only so that participants are forced to make their postings in English. The survey states that exactly this engaging in postings about the game supports language skills. Within the forums players are in touch with native as well as non-native speakers of the English language. Especially when there are debates or conflicts about a topic, participants are forced to express themselves as clear as possible and so improve their way to present and explain things. As the survey reveals, most of the gamers improved their language skills unconsciously while playing and writing and just became aware of it when they were interviewed for the gaming survey.

J'ai besoin d'aide pour corriger un texte. Merci à tous qui se mettent en contact :) Dans le livre « 35 kilos d’espoir » de Anna Gavalda il s’agit de jeune Grégoire, treize ans, qui est vraiment intelligent mais nul à l’école. Dès sa petite enfance, il s’intéresse seulement aux machines, à l’éctricité et au bricolage. Sa passion c’est d’inventer des choses comme une machine à éplucher les bananes ou un appareil lequel permet à sa mère de repasser assis. L’école par contre est un cauchemar pour Grégoire, car il est toujours le dernier de la classe et ne trouve aucun sens dans les choses dont les profs parlent. Comme ses notes sont trop mauvaises il doit redoubler deux fois, c’est pourquoi ses parents se disputent souvent et sont désespérés de leur fils. Le seul qui le prend comme il est c’est son grand-père Léon. Quand il est avec lui dans la cabane au fond du jardin des grands-parents ou ils bricolent ensemble, Grégoire peut oublier tous les problèmes de l’école. Mais quand Grégoire est renvoyé du collège, toute la famille est fâchés, même son grand-père n’a plus confiance en lui. Le jeune garçon décide d’aller dans un internat par lequel sa situation scolaire s’améliore et il reprend le courage jusque la nouvelle lui atteint que son grand-père bien-aimé est tombé dans le coma… Une difficulté que j’ai rencontrée pendant mon lecture c’étaient les événements qui se sont passées dans la vie du protagoniste avant l’action véritable commence et qui sont racontées rétrospectivement par le narrateur. Comme l’auteur raconte l’enfance du petit Grégoire très vite et court j’ai eu de problèmes de suivre les événements. Pour surmonter cette difficulté j’ai dessiné une ligne de temps sur laquelle j’ai inscrit les différentes stations de la vie de Grégoire. Donc, j’étais capable de voir les événements chronologiquement et la passée de jeune protagoniste était plus claire pour moi. Un point qui m’a déplu dans le livre d’Anna Gavalda c’est comme le roman s’est finit. J’ai attendu une fin surprenante et plus développée mais en réalité c’était très abrupte et trop simple à mon avis. J’ai souhaité une fin très particulière et étonnante come l’histoire de Grégoire est pour moi unique et inhabituelle. Le happy end est pour ma part d’une façon ennuyeuse décevante. Le langage du livre par contre m’a plu absolument comme c’est joyeuse et avec pleine d’humour.

Il y qn qui peut m'aider avec un texte que j'ai rédiger en francais?

J'ai un examen demain à l'université et je dois rédiger un texte dans cette examen.

Est-ce qu'il y a qn qui peut le corriger pour moi et donner des propositions d'améliorisation??
Ca serait super! Et je serais vraiment reconnaissante.
Merci pour tous les aides!

Voilà le texte:

 

Dans le livre « 35 kilos d’espoir » de Anna Gavalda il s’agit de jeune Grégoire, treize ans, qui est vraiment intelligent mais nul à l’école. Dès sa petite enfance, il s’intéresse seulement aux machines, à l’éctricité et au bricolage. Sa passion c’est d’inventer des choses comme une machine à éplucher les bananes ou un appareil lequel permet à sa mère de repasser assis. L’école par contre est un cauchemar pour Grégoire, car il est toujours le dernier de la classe et ne trouve aucun sens dans les choses dont les profs parlent. Comme ses notes sont trop mauvaises il doit redoubler deux fois, c’est pourquoi ses parents se disputent souvent et sont désespérés de leur fils. Le seul qui le prend comme il est c’est son grand-père Léon. Quand il est avec lui dans la cabane au fond du jardin des grands-parents ou ils bricolent ensemble, Grégoire peut oublier tous les problèmes de l’école. Mais quand Grégoire est renvoyé du collège, toute la famille est fâchés, même son grand-père n’a plus confiance en lui. Le jeune garçon décide d’aller dans un internat par lequel sa situation scolaire s’améliore et il reprend le courage jusque la nouvelle lui atteint que son grand-père bien-aimé est tombé dans le coma…

Une difficulté que j’ai rencontrée pendant mon lecture c’étaient les événements qui se sont passées dans la vie du protagoniste avant l’action véritable commence et qui sont racontées rétrospectivement par le narrateur. Comme l’auteur raconte l’enfance du petit Grégoire très vite et court j’ai eu de problèmes de suivre les événements. Pour surmonter cette difficulté j’ai dessiné une ligne de temps sur laquelle j’ai inscrit les différentes stations de la vie de Grégoire. Donc, j’étais capable de voir les événements chronologiquement et la passée de jeune protagoniste était plus claire pour moi.
Un point qui m’a déplu dans le livre d’Anna Gavalda c’est comme le roman s’est finit. J’ai attendu une fin surprenante et plus développée mais en réalité c’était très abrupte et trop simple à mon avis. J’ai souhaité une fin très particulière et étonnante come l’histoire de Grégoire est pour moi unique et inhabituelle. Le happy end est pour ma part d’une façon ennuyeuse décevante. Le langage du livre par contre m’a plu absolument comme c’est joyeuse et avec pleine d’humour. Les descriptions des événements qui se passent à l’école et à la maison du protagoniste sont vivantes et m’ont fait rire beaucoup. En plus, les sentiments du protagoniste sont exprimés avec beaucoup de sensibilité pour qu’on pourrait bien se mettre à la place de Grégoire.