Help correct my short story translation
Hello everyone!
I'm a new iTalki user learning Chinese. I have translated a children's short story from a book "365 Bed Time Stories", but would like some feedback on my translations. I don't think my translation skills are very good yet!
The original story can be seen here: https://www.dropbox.com/s/8kj4ri91rs7h7gi/Story.jpg?dl=1
My translation is as follows;
Title: New Year Baby
Original Work by Bāo Lěi
Pictures by Zhāng Chē
1: Obviously, it is very good to be gazing out the window
2: New Year Baby riding the red carp has come
3: Happy New Year!
4: Carp spits out of his mouth a New Year's Present
5: New Year Baby has flown away
6: Obviously, it is very good to fly out the window
7: They are riding a white cloud to chase after New Year Baby
8: They are at the white cloud and have fallen asleep
9: They woke up to find they were in bed
10: They under their pillow then discovered a wrapped present
11: It turns out, the present was the first part of "365 Bed Time Stories"Hi everyone! I'm so sorry - I didn't realise that link wouldn't work for friends in China. I couldn't see how to add a picture directly to my post. Please try this link instead: http://clsnoswell.com/6d298949-12d5-435d-a41f-00e3024b1eeb/Story.jpg Thank you!