English and I : A Sob Story # Hi. My name is Eva. English is my second language so that I would love to make more friends here in iTalki so I can polish my English. # I had learnt English since kindergarten which is 4-6 years old. # I learnt about basic English and whatnot. # Now, according to my calculation, I had learnt English in almost 19 years. Starting from kindergarten, primary school, secondary school and in the university. # Until now, I still don't feel confident with my English. I bet it is because I lack of communication practice and lack of good vocabulary. I have many friends but they were tend not to speak in English. Furthermore, I also do not speak English at home. # The sad story - I had been doing my thesis for my Degree and my former supervisor was a person who is very particular in language. I don't blame her. But, the way she tricked me make me so upset. # Ever since I entered the university, I planned on to further my master. But, when I got her as my thesis supervisor, I was being so tedious and moral down. Yes! I know I don't have good English and I don't speak like a native, but I don't deserve her bad words. Doesn't she even know that by saying bad words towards students will make the student lose their confidence and credibility? Doesn't she ever learn about educational psychology? I don't asked her to give me good grade, but I expect she could give me some motivational thingy if she sees me as worse student (because I don't have good English). # Now, I had graduated with a degree and the impact is that I really don't have any confidence about myself, how can I apply for a work? # I am graduated with degree in TESL (that's why I must have good English!) and actually I really don't have a passion to learn in this course. But, with the encouragement of my parent, friends and relatives, I still undergo with this course. But, seriously, I don't know why I still can't bear with my English?? I don't skip classes, I don't procrastinate assignments, I never fail in any subjects I had taken ever during all semesters in the university, but at the end I still be categorized as worse because of my bad English. :( Can I say that some of the lecturers just doing easy job by just passing their students? :( I just don't know... :( # So that is why I'm here at iTalki..trying or the best word struggling my best to do everything to get a great English! Please support me everyone! :')