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What does the fox say?
(The title is just a favourite song of mine lately... No animals were harmed in the writing of this entry! ^_^)
It's a pretty rainy night tonight (which is my favourite night to write something, despite the sound of storm). Probably you can't call it as ''pretty'' when you compare the amount of rain in here to other cities' but the city i live in is usually a very hot and warm area. So people living in here make a big deal out of rain/snow.
Whenever i hear the sound of a strong storm, i imagine my house going up to near the clouds like in the movie called ''Up'' :) But i know it's not very possible since my 'house' is in an apartment... At the same time, i don't know how to find those amazing balloons for a big rise...
I love that movie. I think it's because of my love for balloons. I know some people find them childish and silly, but who cares? A balloon makes me happy whenever i see it and that's the important thing in life. Finding joy in the silliest things. I think i am pretty good at it.
I actually think a balloon might be one of the most perfect gifts i could receive from my lover since it will contain his breath.. A breath is the simplest symbol for life, so it is like giving a part of your life to your partner. Which is pretty hard to do in any other way. I don't know, maybe it's just a play of my weird-jelly-brain ^_^ I find that kind of things romantic.
Nevermind. When i talk about romance, Norman Reedus comes to my mind! :D I'm excited for February! Not for St. Valentine's Day surely, after being cheated bad a few months ago... I'm excited for the Walking Dead's new episodes! Daryl Dixon's cupid is more precious than Eros' cupid for me lately <3
Take care of yourselves!
I forgot what i was planning to write here. But i'm sure nobody cares. I even don't care. You better find my mistakes and correct ^_^
P.S.: I had my flight alone!! It was great because two people near my seats couldn't catch the plane, so i had place to breathe alone. You won't believe it but i flew one more time after it. There was a very gentle man near me luckily. I think he understood my situation from my face (i am not a good poker face) and did help me very much by carrying and placing my luggage. That fligh was fine too but i surely believe i could do better with a warm hand ^^
29. Januar 2014
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I think therefore i am tired...
To think is a consuming activity. It consumes your energy, your identity & your existence.
Whenever i think, i end up being so tired & sad. When you look at the world with aware eyes, nothing can make you positive or hopeful.
I know people make wishes for the day that they will have children. Such as ''I hope my daughter will have beautiful hair!'' or ''I hope my son will have a pair of beautiful blue eyes!'' When people ask me that kind of questions, i always say ''I don't have an intention to have one, but If i someday have a daughter, i hope she will be a fool. And beautiful. That's all i want''. I think that's the only way to be happy in this world.
I just sometimes want to cut my head off then disconnect myself from the world :) Not to question would be so cool for a while.
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Acrophobia & Alone Flights
I have been dealing with acrophobia all my life. Don't know exactly why but flying things scare me, even little birds ^_^ That's why i've tried to avoid planes. I was mostly choosing bus travels to keep my feet on the ground. Until it becomes too frustrating to visit my home & hometown after 8 hours long butt-ache. It was taking at least like 24 hours to feel like myself again.
Recently, i see the bus tickets are more expensive than promotional plane tickets. So i thought, why not? Let's give it a try!
I've been travelling by plane for a while but it never happened alone ^_^ But on next Monday, i will have to travel alone.. So as you can guess, the thought of it is killing me already...
When i had a company, i was able to fool myself. With holding hands -they say it's not holding though, it is 'squeezing'...erm who cares-, talking to the person, making jokes or laugh... Bla bla bla. Although i've been alone for 24 years and since i'm a though cookie B| i never complained about it for once & praised being alone with all my effort...Now lonely travels are reminding me that everybody needs somebody to take care of them, even strong people. It's unfortunately very true, and primitive as well...
Now back to my reality, when i'm gonna sit on my seat, i know that all i will be thinking about is how i am gonna feel ''IF'' the airplane crash happens...My stomach is in my mouth now, even just by thinking about the ''falling''..
Wish me luck : )
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