Why English Politeness Can Be Confusing Have you ever noticed that English speakers often say "Could you please" or "Would you mind" even when they are giving instructions? These phrases are more about politeness than necessity. Saying "Open the window" is correct, but "Could you please open the window" feels friendlier and softer. For learners this can seem confusing because the language is less about rules and more about relationships. Paying attention to tone and context is often more important than memorizing exact words. Understanding this can make conversations feel smoother and less stressful.