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呂雅鈞
Password Nowadays, personal privacy is seen as a big issue that everyone attends to protect. Therefore, people get accustomed to set a password in order to save the papers, secrets or pictures which is not allowed be known by their owners. People not only feel comfortable after setting the password but also can't help but rely on password to put plentiful secretly stuff into "the box" which is supposed to be very safe. However, there are some problems gradually happened owing to this sense of security. In other words, setting the password make people put themselves into another dangerous situation but without consciousness. There are some cases to improve the problems brought after setting the password. Recently, lots of sexual pictures of celebrities were be hacked by computer hacker because these victims had once trusted this cloud computing service and setting the password undoubtedly . Some people hack any facebook account and Internet scams. To sum up, even password still is quite important, making sure yourself to be cautious every time.

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Password

Nowadays, personal privacy is seen as a big issue that everyone attends to protect. Therefore, people get accustomed to set a password in order to save the papers, secrets or pictures which is not allowed be known by their owners. People not only feel comfortable after setting the password but also can't help but rely on password to put plentiful secretly stuff into "the box" which is supposed to be very safe. However, there are some problems gradually happened owing to this sense of security. In other words, setting the password make people put themselves into another dangerous situation but without consciousness. There are some cases to improve the problems brought after setting the password. Recently, lots of sexual pictures of celebrities were be hacked by computer hacker because these victims had once trusted this cloud computing service and setting the password undoubtedly . Some people hack any facebook account and Internet scams. To sum up, even password still is quite important, making sure yourself to be cautious every time.

 

After corrections:

Nowadays, personal privacy is seen as a big issue that everyone intends to protect. Therefore, people are accustomed to setting a password in order to save their papers, secrets, and pictures which are not allowed to be seen except by their owners. People not only feel comfortable after setting a password, but also can't help but rely on a password to put plentiful secret stuff into "the box" which is supposed to be very safe. However, there are some problems gradually happening coming from this sense of security. In other words, setting a password makes people put themselves into another dangerous situation without realizing. In some cases, more problems occur after setting a password. Recently, lots of sexual pictures of celebrities were hacked by computer hackers because these victims had once trusted this cloud computing service and set a password confidently. Some people hack facebook accounts and create Internet scams. To sum up, even though passwords are still quite important, make sure to remain cautious.

 

You have an excellent vocabulary!! Most of the mistakes are tense issues or singular/plural verbs. If you have any questions about why I changed anything specifically feel free to ask!! :)

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