You have a good correction and so I won't duplicate the effort. Here is a more colorful way.

Realizing Our Dream 共同一梦 Realizing Our Dreams 我们每一个人不同的梦

It was July 2014, after my son’s 1-year old birthday of one year, I realized that I should set a good example in front of to/for him. And I remembered there’s an unrealized dormant dream which settled within my heart --  for a long time and I  haven’t realized it till now, that is to be a enter the Renmin University for my futher education. student. So at the end of 2014, I decided to take the took its entrance exam of Renmin University for the MBA program at the end of 2014.

At that time, Not only do I had  still have to breast-feeding my son, I had to deal with the mountainous load of work that and my boss assigned many workloads to me dumped onto me everyday. At In the daytime, I have  had to finish my job duty to work and I didn’t have opportunities to study time is out of the window. During In the evening, I had to play with my kid son because I wanted to be cannot neglect the duties of a good mother. So the This too, limits my studying time was really limited for me. Everyday, when I finished breast-feeding, telling stories for my son and finished housework Each day, after all these duties are done, I started to my studies. However, The entrance exam isn’t was not an easy piece of cake for me... because I have left school for My high school days were almost ten years ago and I never took math during my undergraduate studies. For three months while preparing for the Exam, I have to study late into the night and I had to say bye-bye to all weekend entertainment.

Each day I was tired but nary a thought of abandoning this dream of mine. My family supported my endeavor and so was my boss. In her mind, I am 如果用过去式, 意思是她对你的看法有变 a good employee but not a good leadership. She told me that if I wanted to be promoted to a higher level, I should get further studies related to my job.

In the end, my dream was realized and a good example set for my son. How wonderful it is for me to see him studying hard like his mother! When he is older, I can explain to him that dreams can be attained -- no matter how old we are; nor the obstacles flung at our path; just as long as we have goals to achieve.改完之后, 我认为最适合的标题是 "How I Realize My Dream" or "Realizing My Dream"

RealizING our dream

It was July 2014, after my son’s FIRST birthday. I realized that I should set a good example FOR him and I remembered THAT there WAS a dream which HAD settled in my heart for a long time THAT I HADN'T realized - to be a Renmin University student. So I decided to take the entrance exam of THE MBA program at the end of 2014.

At that time, I still HAD to breast-feed and my boss assigned many TASKS to me everyday. DURING the daytime, I had to finish my job'S dutIES and I didn’t have opportunities to study. During the evening, I had to play with my kid because I wanted to be a good mother. So the studying time was really limited for me. Everyday, when I finished breast-feeding, telling stories TO my son and housework, I WOULD study. However, the entrance exam WASN'T easy for me because I HAD left school for almost ten years and I never studied math during my undergraduate school. So during thOSE 3 months OF preparing FOR the exam, I hAD to study late INTO THE night, and I gave up all entertainment activities in the weekends.

Although I felt very tired every day I never thought of abandoning this dream. I got my family’s support, and my boss supported me as well. In her mind, I was a good employee but not a good leader; she told me that if I wantED to be promoted to a higher level, I should study systematic business knowledge.

Finally, I realized my dream and I really set a good example FOR my son. He loves studying, THE same as me. When he grows up, I will tell him we can attain our dream(S) no matter how old we are, and we can overcome difficulties as long as we have goals.