Stuck in a time warp which drags me into downward spiral Wake up near noon, unconsciously organize mail box on phone in the bed. Collect daily bonus on slot game and check all social medias. Get up, walk straight to bathroom then living room. Nobody is there. I find myself, every morning, doing the same thing at the same spot as if the time stops. Sit down on the floor, turn on TV, leave the same channel I left last night while I'm on my computer. At this point, it's already 1pm, all I utter is some words' pronunciations I self-study on. Time just pasts just like the way it does. No visitors knock the front door nor do dogs bark outside, let alone no phone calls. It becomes oblivious, which indicates I feel comfortable with no human contact. I'm in trouble. "Where am I?" I don't even ask myself that question. Yes, it's became normal to me. My mind becomes tending to avoid human contact. This whole situation leads me to social isolation. No one is wanted, especially my family-in-law. They are inhospitable. I have a strong emotional wreak with them. I try to mask my grief and it could be anytime to burst into tears. Ultimately my texts and calls to them taper off, and my intent to meet them veers off. While I'm supposed to study the day comes close to end as usual. It's 6pm. My husband is coming home. Staring at the computer screen, nothing is in the focus, thinking of what to make. The passion for cooking is sparse now. My go-to menu transfers to fried rice from grilled chicken with sweet potato and tomato soups on side. He is home with a great fatigue, seemingly having no self-composure to wedge in a chit-chat with me. I sense that I should just have a normal conversation of "how was work today?" It highly possibly ends up with him responding halfway through unconsciousness. I could keep score how many words we exchange. My socializing skills got rusty. This social isolation prevents me from everything. And my range of activities is cut down. No wonder why I have a fear to master courage and cultivate new friendship. Because I become vulnerable in large part to this indefinite period of isolation. My perseverance becomes subtle. I don't even know where this post is going but then again I'm exasperated.