Isabelle
Office note Hi everyone! Could you please correct the following example of a message? I also ask you if you could suggest some expressions which are better than the expressions I used. Thank you. ---- I spoke with my manager about the possibility of updating the plan and there is not this capability at the moment. Any changes should be submitted by an official notice by your Management to share the possibility that the target are not reached with our Management. ----
26 nov 2015 09:33
Correzioni · 9
2

I have spoken with my manager about the possibility of updating the plan, and/but we are unable to do this [there is not this capability*] at the moment. Any changes should be submitted by means of an official notice by/from your Management, to **allow for/[share] the possibility that agreement on the target are is not reached with our Management. 


----

*not wrong, but rather formal

**try to reach agreement with our Management on the proposed target(s)

26 novembre 2015
1

I spoke with my manager about the possibility of updating the plan but this is not possible at the moment. Any changes should be submitted in an official notice from your Management in order to let us know if the target may not been reached by our Management. 

 

<em>I don't really know enough context to have a good feeling for the meaning of your note.  I cannot guarantee that my correction means exactly what you intended.</em>

<em>The first sentence has a standard formal style, but the second is very formal and impersonal.  </em>

<em>The usage of "Management" is unusual.  I am not sure which people you mean.</em>

<em>Italians use the word "possibility" a lot but this word is quite formal, and not so often used in English. We normally use "can", "could", "may" instead, depending on the shade of meaning.</em>

<em>Kind regards, Michael </em>

26 novembre 2015
hello sorry I want learn English
26 novembre 2015
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