Marriage in Islam -- Part Three The Islamic Alternative In the Islamic system of family, there is an emphasis on keeping the society pure of sexuality and retaining sexuality from public. The family is the most important unit of society and it must be preserved and strengthened. Therefore, making new families should not conflict with the safety of other families. There are rulings in Islam just to guarantee this result. For example, it is forbidden for people to have intimate talks or to joke with the other sex, if they are not in the family. Women are forbidden to expose and emphasize their beauty through revealing clothes and using jewelry in public. Just as such is the ruling that forbids men from looking at women’s body and beauty. Of course, these rulings only apply to people out of the family. In the family, however, things must be beautiful, lovely, and intimate. Between husband and wife, there are absolutely no boundaries. But, what is the suggested way for finding a good husband/wife, when nobody is to talk to and look at their possible partners? Here is what I have learned from scholars and books, with my own adjustments. It comes in a couple of steps. 1. Talk to your parents The first step is to talk to your parents and tell them about your decision of getting married. Not to ask them permission, which is also a good thing by the way, but because you are going to need their help. They acquire most of the primary information that you are going to need. Men’s mother, who has a good grasp of their taste in looks, can give the process a huge boost by eliminating the unfavorable options. If she is asked, she can make a list of good-looking choices. Then she can show them pictures of the possible options to look at, which is also acceptable with no forbidden intentions. Same is true for women’s father, if they felt they felt sensitive of their future partner’s looks. You can assign your parents and brothers and sisters to survey friends of the possible cases, about their manners, behavior, family culture, and other matters you find important in your future spouse. Of course this is better to be kept secret and subtle if you wouldn’t like everyone to realize your intentions. When you take these two steps with the help of your family, you will narrow down your list without even getting involved in a relationship, which means no possibility of suffering a heartbreak and zero percent risk of perversion. Now you are ready to make your primary move. To be continued.