Trouble
First of all, I have a task, and I have to write a text no more than 150 words.
This text have almost 150 ( 153 words).
"About two years ago, I used to go to work by bus, but I got stuck in the traffic for more than an hour. Until I saw my colleges ridding by on bicycles; that was a good idea, although I wasn't fit.
Even though, I brought an old bike from a friend.
To begin with, I was frightened of cycling on the road, since the cars and lorries. At first, I started cycling for about five to ten minutes at a park close to my house. After a while, I used to ride two kilometers from my house to local shops. Then, I started to go to the city center. Therefore, I used to cycle five kilometers per ride. In the end, I go everywhere on my bike, and I feel fit and healthy. I ride eight kilometers to work, it takes me 30 minutes, and I save half an hour a day."
But. I wanted to express this.
"About two years ago, I used to go to work by bus every day. However, I usually found myself stuck in a traffic jam for a whole hour, and that made me mad. Then one day, as I was looking out the window, I saw my colleges riding by on bicycles.
That, I thought, was a good idea, but I recognized that I was not very fit. Still, I wanted to escape from the traffic jam,
so I brought an old bicycle from a friend. At first, I was somewhat frightened of cycling on the road, not only because there are lots of cars and lorries, but also since I was inexperienced.
So then, I started going to a park that is close to my house, to practice, in order to improve both my abilities and my confidence. I used to be able to only cycle slowly for almost five, then ten minutes, but soon afterwards, I started to go from my house to local shops. Therefore, I would then ride for two kilometers.
After a while, I rode five kilometers from my home to the center of the city. So, now, I go everywhere on my bicycle, and I feel fit, healthy, and happy! I ride the eight kilometers to my work, it takes me just thirty minutes, I no longer sit in traffic on the bus, and I save half an hour per day! "
The difference is notorious, so I would want to express the same but with less words.
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Correzioni · 1
1
Trouble
First of all, I have a task, and I have to write a text no more than 150 words.This text have almost 150 ( 153 words).
"About two years ago, I used to go to work by bus, but I got stuck in the traffic for more than an hour. Until I saw my colleges ridding by on bicycles; that was a good idea, although I wasn't fit.
Even though, I brought an old bike from a friend.
To begin with, I was frightened of cycling on the road, since the cars and lorries. At first, I started cycling for about five to ten minutes at a park close to my house. After a while, I used to ride two kilometers from my house to local shops. Then, I started to go to the city center. Therefore, I used to cycle five kilometers per ride. In the end, I go everywhere on my bike, and I feel fit and healthy. I ride eight kilometers to work, it takes me 30 minutes, and I save half an hour a day."
But. I wanted to express this.
That, I thought, was a good idea,
The difference is notorious, so I would want to express the same but with less words.
You wrote a very good essay. However, as you said you need to abide by the word limit. I have edited out some words that will reduce the word limit without affecting the essence of your essay.
I hope this helps you.
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