So to start my mother's 20s were full of responsibilities. She got married off very young. After marriage she had to give up many things as life became about duties. Back then and even now to some extent women were expected to live for others. My mother lived exactly that life. She wanted to study further and pursue her interests. After marriage, she did try but as expectations from the extended family grew, those things stop, there was no space left and no encouragement either. She gave me a very different upbringing from the one she had. Maybe that’s why, if I could go back in time, I want her to experience this side of life too. From my memories and photos of her from that age- she was slim, big dark eyes, long black wavy hair and mostly wore sarees and kurti, and red bangles. She didn’t wear much makeup, if any at all. I’d want her to try things which were different from norm. I’d want her to cut her hair short and try western clothes (maybe western dresses). I’d want to travel to western countries with her and experience a different kind of world where society is different and women have more of independence in daily life. And perhaps she might connect with that culture and feel more emotionally safe in that society than this like I do. She has been deeply spiritual from a young age, and I’ve often wondered what made her that way so early in life. Maybe circumstances or the need for strength when life didn’t give many choices. If I could go back, I’d want to understand that side of her better. I’d want to ask her what she believed in and what gave her peace. When you’re a child, you don’t really see your parents properly..you just know them as parents. I’d want to understand her personality, and how she saw the world back then.