Olga, Very amusing! Scientists at Tulane University’s Primate Research Center announced they have taught a gorilla that some day it will die. Nate Meredith has more in the lab report. Thanks, Dan. In an historic first, a team of primatologists has succeeded in teaching Quigley, a Western Lowland Gorilla, the concept of mortality and his inevitable doom. Lana Burroughs and Phillip Townsend are the researchers leading the project. When we first started with Quigley, he was just a normal happy ape, not a care in the world. Lana: The first thing we did was we taught him patterns like red block, blue block, green block over and over. Then it became a pattern of “gorilla born, gorilla grow, gorilla die” – over and over. Phillip: Right. The researchers then showed Quigley photographs of dead and dying gorillas while communicating the phrases: “You some day” and “No choice”. Phillip: It took thousands of repetitions, but Quigley finally became cognizant of a correlation between himself and the decomposing pile of hair and flesh in the photo. Quigley shared his feelings in a confessional after completing each exercise. Lana: That was a great moment. Phillip: Oh yes. Quigley also began painting pictures like these almost every day. To make sure Quigley retains the awareness of his own demise the team spends several hours per day reinforcing the certainty of death’s arrival. Linda: Quigley, you die. You will die soon. The researchers say at first Quigley could only communicate rudimentary fears about his own death, but he soon moved on to expressing more complex emotions, like indifference and self-hatred. And just two days ago, Phillip Townsend and his colleagues even witnessed what they believe to have been a panic attack in Quigley. Phillip: He was letting out these anguished cries and banging his head against the wall and I just thought: “We did it!” The Tulane scientists believe we that may be able to teach a gorilla to resort to alcoholism or even try to kill itself in as little as a decade. The scientists next plant to test whether the results with Quigley can be replicated with other species. They are in the initial stages of teaching bunny rabbits that they will all die. Phillip: You will both die. These are thrilling times. For the Lab Report I’m Nate Meredith. Thanks, Nate. Scientists in Britain are conducting a similar study teaching a mouse with a human ear grafted to its back what a freak it is.

This is the funniest thing I have ever read. Those so called scientists are totally unaware of one thing. The gorilla already knew! LOL. Talk about self projection...a ha ha ha.