pls translante it into understandable english
major problem: I'm trying to translate a number of comic strips into italian but as I am not an english mothertongue I am at a loss to understand the actual meaning of some expressions - therefore I can't even attempt to give an understandable version to my readers. Any help would be most appreciated

This guy is a gold hunter, the comic strip describes all the cliches of such endeavour ("Funny hat? Check. Adventurous lifestile? Check. Romanticized icon of book and films? Check - and so forth) and he says:
"S'why ain't there no dagnabbed, doggone, dad blasted, two-bit, side windin', confounded, cotton-pickin', talk like a prospector day?"
Answer: "I think you have been hornswoggled, compadre"
Answers back: "Durn tootin' "

Question

pls translante it into understandable english
major problem: I'm trying to translate a number of comic strips into italian but as I am not an english mothertongue I am at a loss to understand the actual meaning of some expressions - therefore I can't even attempt to give an understandable version to my readers. Any help would be most appreciated

This guy is a gold hunter, the comic strip describes all the cliches of such endeavour ("Funny hat? Check. Adventurous lifestile? Check. Romanticized icon of book and films? Check - and so forth) and he says:
"S'why ain't there no dagnabbed, doggone, dad blasted, two-bit, side windin', confounded, cotton-pickin', talk like a prospector day?"
Answer: "I think you have been hornswoggled, compadre"
Answers back: "Durn tootin' "

Answer

You been hornswaggled.  You been taken advantage of.  Cheated. Compadre-friend.
Darn tootin-'You can say that again' or Amen or No shit.
All the other gibberish words are just country (hillbilly if you will) expletives that don't really mean anything except to give emotion to the speakers predicament.

Answer

The whole point of the joke is that the words he is using are nearly incomprehensible, so any attempt to translate has to take that into account. However, what they mean is roughly this:

"So why isn't there a [stream of expressions of frustration] day where everyone has to talk like a prospector"
"I think you've been swindled (tricked), friend"
"Exactly right"

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